


Home Coming

by Midori_Hime



Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Terminal Illnesses, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-22 14:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midori_Hime/pseuds/Midori_Hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamato comes from a broken family, where part of the blame lies on his own shoulders. His goal is to help others like him and rebuild a family. But people can't be strong forever, and when the time for weakness comes, just who will help the family he now has? NaNoWriMo 2011.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

I like to think of myself as a bit of a collector. When I was younger, it was Pokemon cards and photos and gum wrappers and whatever else I could get my hands on. I thought, when I got older, it’d be posters and cds and stuff like that. I never thought I’d be collecting people.

Ah, that sounds a bit creepy, doesn’t it? I should probably start from the beginning rather than just rush in like that. Well, to begin with, my name is Ishida Yamato. I’m twenty years old, have blonde hair and blue eyes and I’m currently the guardian of six kids. I’m not some irresponsible teenage dad or anything like that, I adopted them. Well, not officially, since they’re mostly runaways, but I’ll explain more on that later. One of the kids is my little brother, Takeru. He looks almost exactly like me but he’s six years younger. The rest are kids who I picked up (in a non-creepy way) at the centre where we met. They’re kids like me - lost. 

It’s not that we don’t have families - apart from Takeru, I have parents and other extended family - its that... I guess its that we don’t fit. We’re not quite _right_ , whatever that means. The centre was a place for us to fix that. Not necessarily make us ‘normal’, but to help us deal with what we had or what we were or whatever the demons plaguing us were making us think.

We always just call it the centre - to be technical, it was a youth hospital of some sorts. It had a shelter for the homeless, a kitchen that ran free dinners as well as medical services. The centre is entirely run by volunteers, so the facilities weren’t the best but it was better than nothing at all, right? Most people came and went as they pleased, too stubborn or frightened to accept help. To be honest, I thought I was going to up and leave as well, I’d never planned on staying. I can’t say how thankful I am that the gods made me stay. 

After I fixed myself up, I had to help the others. They weren’t the ones who needed the most help, but they were the ones my brother and I had become close to (well, it was all Takeru’s doing really. I was never any good with bonding and stuff, and I’m still not now). The centre was a check yourself in facility so you could go whenever you felt like it. When I became of age, I got help to find myself a house and took some of the rambunctious brats with me. 

Takeru is fourteen and there are three others his age - Daisuke, Ken and Hikari. Miyako is a year older while Iori is two years younger than them. They each have their own stories and history, and it really isn’t my place to tell you them. 

My own story began years ago, when my parents divorced. I don’t remember much - just yelling here and there and me playing with Takeru so he wouldn’t hear. I told mum to take him - he was younger, so I thought he needed her more than I did. My dad often worked a lot, so I stayed by myself often. I taught myself the harmonica during those days I sat by myself in our apartment... but thats a bit irrelevant, isn’t it? Anyway, one day when Takeru and I were allowed out together, something happened.

It’d been a nice day, if I remember correctly. It was summer and it was hot and we’d just had ice cream. I think I was convincing him that I wouldn’t tell mum he’d spoiled his dinner when it happened. I was holding his hand, waiting to cross the lights. When the little man went green, we started crossing. A car ran a red light as we were.

Takeru was hit. He fell into a coma. It felt as though everything had happened in slow motion. I know I got hit as well, but I didn’t seem to feel anything. I guess I thought I had managed to dodge it or something. Even when my world was spinning, all I could focus on was his tiny body being flung up and then falling, falling and hitting the asphalt with a dull thunk.

Takeru was only seven at the time... I was thirteen. Older, responsible, the big brother... I’d failed my job. He was my responsibility! I was supposed to look after him! The second he fell motionless, my spiral started. I’m not sure what I spiraled into, perhaps it was depression or something, but that moment changed me...I still don’t think I’ve ever fully gotten over my failure. While the centre helped me improve some of my issues, self confidence and not blaming myself isn’t one of them.

I know it isn’t my fault. I’m not stupid. I held his hand like mum always did (and drilled into my head all the time we went out) and we looked right and left even when the sign said walk. We didn’t run and his laces were tied properly. It’s just one of those situations where you kick yourself and hate everything about your very being for not doing more, even though you know you couldn’t have done anything anyway. 

Someone called an ambulance for us and the next thing I remember is that we were in the hospital. He was in the bed next to me, looking whiter than the sheets. Mum was bending over him, hysterically weeping and then alternating to shouting whenever a doctor walked into the room. I fell back asleep until my father walked in, looking as haggard and unshaven as always. He usually looked strong though, like his messy appearance was on purpose. It was probably the cocky attitude that did that.

But it was gone that day. He seemed sickly; all he could do was swallow roughly and nod dumbly whenever mum or a doctor spoke to him. When I made a noise, my parents and the current doctor looked over. Mum lunged at me, hugging me and telling me how glad she was. That hurt. Not just the bruising grip she had on my tiny frame, but the fact that it was Takeru that deserved to be hearing those words, not me. My dear precious younger brother; not the older screw up.

The doctor asked questions and took vitals and stuff after he convinced her to let me go. My father was silent the whole time. When the doctor left, I met his eyes and all my father could do was attempt to smile. It barely moved his facial muscles, let alone reach his eyes. 

I think thats what did it. I mean, I think I was ruined anyway, but that was that was the last bit I needed to fully snap. That action, or lack of, was what crushed me and made me leave. 

It was a week before I could leave the hospital. Dad spent more time hovering over Takeru, even though he was in a coma, than he even did speaking to me. I tried conversations. He ‘hmmed’ and nodded, glanced through tired and glassy eyes. Then his attention would turn again to the younger son, the golden boy. Mum wasn’t as bad, but she was similar. We’d never had a particularly strong bond. Due to my isolation, if you want to call it then, I was reserved and we never saw each other much after the divorce. It was awkward to know you were supposed to love and be loved unconditionally by someone so important, but have no idea how to act upon it.

It isn’t that I resent my brother. Far from it. I love him. He’s the centre of my world, just as he is for my parents. But the fact my father wouldn’t acknowledge me properly and wouldn’t let me apologise either. I don’t know who I wanted to apologise to, or why. My father, for making it seem he didn’t raise me properly when mum did a better job with Takeru? My mother, for hurting her precious child? My brother, for ruining him and possibly taking his life? 

I knew I didn’t want to apologise to myself. As sick as it seems, I was glad for the accident, in a way. I know it seems that I’m just blaming Takeru’s car accident for making my family act like this, but I’d been feeling left out for a long time. The third wheel, the odd one out, the black sheep of the family. Call it what you will, I don’t care. I was in a bad place and this... incident let me deal with it.

When I was finally allowed home, dad and I shared a tense and silence filled drive home. He said he had to return to work, but I knew that was a lie. Why would he be taking a teddy bear to work? I was thirteen, not stupid. I was also angry, resentful and stubborn. I couldn’t sort out my emotions and I let them get the better of me. 

As a result, I ran away. Not straight away, I wasn’t a brat that demanded attention 24/7. I was stubborn and reckless, but I knew he was distraught too. It took another two weeks before I realised things wouldn’t change. His _feelings_ wouldn’t change _._ I packed a duffle bag with some food, clothes and a bottle of water. I took my wallet and my guitar. It was my dad’s old one - it wasn’t anything special, but it was the only thing he’d ever given to me that ever seemed to have a thought other than _“Shit, it’s a present giving occasion tomorrow and I’ve forgotten again”_ behind it. Sadly, that wasn’t an exaggeration of my barely teenage mind. 

I didn’t have a phone. I didn’t have many friends (everyone thought I was foreign due to my hair, and since I’m naturally quiet, they all thought I was too stupid to speak Japanese properly) and with it just being my father and I, it was unnecessary. I’d wanted one just for the sake of having one, but at that moment, when I was packing, I was glad I didn’t have one. A phone would mean connections, would mean people trying to bring me back for whatever selfish reason. _Falsities. Lies._ I didn’t want that. If I couldn’t see them or hear them, they didn’t exist. That’s what I tried to tell myself anyway.

It was a long year, but I survived. I did some things I’m not very proud of, but I guess we just have to live and let go (maybe I should listen to my own lessons a bit more, huh?). For the most part, I busked. I was horrid to begin with. I’d only been mucking around on the battered thing for about six months before leaving. But as I busked, I practiced. As I got better, the money grew. As the numbers became bigger, I could get food, new clothes (admittedly from op shops, but they have some pretty neat retro stuff there), new guitar strings and tickets. 

Not to concerts, or the movies (though I did treat myself to one movie on New Years Day - it was a tradition with Takeru and I. It just left me moping and angry for the rest of the day), but to places. I took the bus or the trains or ferries. I walked a lot but I tried not to. I’m too delicate for that! But seriously, I just _went_. It didn’t matter where, since I didn’t have a place in mind. It was great. No parents, no rules, no expectations.

Just pure, unadulterated _freedom_.

Yes, it was lonely, incredibly so. I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t very safe either. But there are some things money can’t buy, and all the things I saw and experienced and the people I met by wandering come under that category. I don’t regret it either. I don’t think I’d be the person I am today if I didn’t do all those things. I think I grew by running away from my problems - running away didn’t help me solve those things, but I think it gave me the tools and the means to be able to come to terms with my demons in the long run.

After all my wanderings and travellings to nowhere, I came upon the place I’d call ‘home’ for roughly the next seven years. The centre was a good place. Community run and owned by some rich philanthropist, the centre catered to those who were homeless, abused, sick and needy and had numerous services. The volunteers ran a soup kitchen and helped with legal matters, they helped us find jobs and paid for medical bills, and they gave us counseling and support, when most of the time, rather than medication or being told to toughen up or being sent to a psychologist, thats what we really needed. 

It was mid 2007 when I arrived. I spent my days busking in the city before returning at night to help in the kitchen. I did menial tasks and was given a few dollars a week. It wasn’t the money I was after, but the support. I was acknowledged, and that meant so much more to me than anything else at that time. I had counselling sessions twice a week and I often helped out any newbies that came into my neck of the woods. I was there by myself (well, without my current group of nutters) until 2008. 

Iori was brought to us at only seven, poor thing. Obviously, he was tiny, and while I wasn’t brawny, I was tall and had the support of the staff, so I made bullies back off pretty easily. Miyako came the year after, bursting in like a bull at a gate. Apparently she’d been there for a week before I’d met her. She caught be practicising and told me I should play _‘real music’_. Brat. We went a year without any new additions, before being given three.

Daisuke came first. I saved him from some street thug and he followed me around like a puppy. He’s never left my side since and to be honest, I have no idea what I’d do without him. Ken followed, maybe two months later. I guess it was just a strange twist of fate for him to end up at the centre with my little brother. 

...I really can’t explain what happen. Not that it’s hard - hugs and yells and tears and all that jazz. But.... I can’t put justice to it. Those feelings can’t be expressed through sentences like _“When I saw him fit and healthy again, that familiar smile, the world righted itself”_. I mean yeah, that happened, but its corny and lame and totally weakens what I felt. It was like my heart had pieced itself together again. Obviously, there were still cracks, but it was whole and mending. 

My world was back.

It was odd to begin with. Takeru didn’t really understand why I left. Neither did I to be honest. There was nothing I could have done, so why blame that accident and leave? In comparison to what had happened, my issues with my family and my own self vision seemed to pale in comparison. Especially to what my brother had gone through.

Physically, he looked the same. Taller obviously, same hair and eyes and that goofy happy smile. But there weren’t any scars, no slight limp or anything. But it was the mental battle. He’d had to have therapy after he woke up. Close to a year of sleeping and it was another year of psychologists and medication and tests and getting his body back into order. Two years gone. Wasted.

Takeru seemed to believe that he’d done something wrong - I made sure to make him understand quickly that that wasn’t the case. Perhaps I was too quick, because he didn’t seem to believe me, but he accepted what I said in any case. It wasn’t long before we regained our bond. It wasn’t as though everything had never happened - I would frequently become awkward or spacy, even though he would speak about his ordeals without a care in the world. 

The main person who helped me with that was Hikari. It was almost Christmas when she was rushed to the centre, incredibly ill. It was closer than the hospital I suppose. When she felt better, Takeru introduced himself and they got along like a house on fire. She had her own issues and was quite open with them. That was just a front though. She’s a lot smarter and far more cunning than she appears. But nonetheless, her front made me create my own mask - not the best thing to do, but it appeased my brother, and really, what else matters? 

But that’s enough of that. The past is the past. What has been done has been done and we need to move on and accept that. Now, we live together in a house, on the outskirts of the city. It’s small and I work two jobs to keep up with everything. We’re not incredibly well off, but we do have each other. We’re not the most stable or the most functional, but we get by. We stick together. Because we’re family.


	2. The Ball Starts Rolling

Yamato turned, yelling over his shoulder. "We're going to leave you lot behind if you don't hurry up!"  
"C'mon Hikari, let's go!"  
"Quit being a suck up, Takeru! Hikari-chan, shall we go?"

Hikari was ignoring the two boys however. She appeared frozen despite the incredible heat of the day, standing completely still and staring off across the busy intersection and across the road. They were on a family outing (which hadn't gone too well - teenagers were bitchy enough with each other when they only saw each other at school, not to mention when they lived, ate and did absolutely everything else together too) but were on their way home. Daisuke and Takeru quickly caught Yamato's attention and the older blonde returned to the young girl's side, the rest of his 'children' toddling along like ducklings (bratty and loud ducklings, but somewhat adorable at the same time).

"Hikari? What's up? Feeling ill?"

The girl still refused to budge until he gave her a brisk shove on the shoulder, enough to move her slightly but not to make her fall. Not seeing anything, he was a bit confused and annoyed - he was used to the attitude though. She looked up to face him and blinked. Sighing, Yamato repeated the question. In her response, the mouse haired girl pointed across the road, still refusing to speak. To everyone around her, it looked like she was just pointing out a bunch of young guys, fascinated for no reason. After a bit more persuasion, she described a tall athletic looking male with wild hair. Miyako was quick to say that he was a looker all right, but that was no need to hold them up and stare like a weirdo.

Glaring at her elder, Hikari finally spoke. "That's my older brother, Taichi."

Ah. Brother. Siblings. Family. No matter how often they talked to each other, it didn't make their lack of blood family being around sting any less. (Of course, some of them had made that decision themselves but you could always regret things or not like the ways things turned out, even if you didn't want to, or refused to, change them) And to just randomly meet your sibling... Sometimes, time just couldn't fix things. Wounds of the heart and the pride of the ego were usually the main casualties.

Hikari... Was frail enough as it is. She wasn't stable...  _safe_ , so to speak. Yamato wasn't entirely sure what to do.  _There isn't really much I can do. She can ignore him or speak to him. It's really her choice._

"Yamato.. Could you tell him I'm okay? I wanna talk to him, but I don't... How strange. These two emotions are quite conflicting and speaking to him is the thing I've longed for the most. Why do you think it frightens me to death then?" Yamato honestly hated the way she spoke sometimes - sometimes Hikari was a normal teenage girl, at other times she was formal, far too proper for her age and sometimes she was ridiculously childish. But sometimes, there were speeches like this, where she just seemed to be lacking in something - obviously not emotion, but it creeped him out nonetheless.

"No idea. You have your own reasons for how you feel. How do want to go about this? Me talk to him and you guys walk on ahead? Or you gonna stay here?"  
"We'll go."  
"But he's your brother! Don't you want to talk to him?"  
"Didn't I just say that Miyako?! Leave me alone." With another glare, Hikari led the way, walking in the opposite direction to her brother, the others following behind her, Miyako pulling faces and starting to bitch at the shorter girl. He rolled his eyes. He'd need to sort out their aggressive attitudes later.  _Fantastic. Just what I needed._

Yamato was left alone and sighed again.  _Honestly, kids these days._  Shaking his head, he headed towards the older Yagami child, cursing the lights when they made him stop and lose sight of the brunette for a minute or two. Running to catch up when he'd set his blue eyes on the unruly hair, Yamato cursed himself.  _Gods, I seriously need to work out more._

"Hey! Oi, you!"  _Ah bugger, what did Hikari say his name was again?_  "HEY!"

Still failing to get the older man's attention, Yamato stepped up the pace, almost tripping. Apologising to the old woman he bumped into, the blond kept yelling, ignoring the stares and responses he was getting, hoping the idiot ahead of him would stop and realize he was talking to him.

Just as Taichi was about to turn the corner, the smaller male managed to catch up. Grabbing the guys elbow, Yamato wheezed a little as he spoke.

"You're... Hikari's brother.. Right?" Being slammed into a wall wasn't exactly how he thought he'd be thanked, but hey, he was Ishida Yamato, he could roll with it. Well, once he managed to get his breath back at any rate.  
"Where the hell is my sister you creep?!"  
"Dude, don't shoot the messenger! Look, you're sister is a friend of my younger brother, Takeru. I'm Yamato-"  
"Takeru and Yamato? Like the legend?" Yamato was a bit taken a back that someone actually knew the legend he and his brother were named after, so just nodded dumbly. His silence gave Taichi to rattle off more questions, questions which Yamato had no idea if he was allowed to answer.  _Ah, I guess I didn't really think this one through, did I?_

"Ummm.. Well, you see, Hikari's safe and all, but I dunno if I'm allowed to say anything-"  
"What do you mean, allowed?"  
"Well, her business is her own, not mine. Well Daisuke probably knows everything too but that's cuz he's a bit of a stalker really-"  
"Stalker!?"  
"No no! You're taking this the wrong way! I'm really not good with things like this..."  
"Things like what?"  
"Could you loosen your hold a little? You're kind of choking me a bit..."  
"Oh sorry..."  
"No worries. But like I said, I'm just the messenger." Trying to back away from Taichi's glare only led to him pushing himself against the wall. Not the ideal position. But from where he was, as much as he knew it wasn't really appropriate at the current moment, he had a pretty good view of Taichi.

Unruly brunette hair, fiery chocolate eyes, bronzed skin, well toned body...  _There's really only one word for that. Actually, I can think of two. Illegal for starters. Secondly,_ woof _. Heh._

Being in his daydream however, he didn't hear his eye candy's demands, rather than the words, he was hearing what other... Noises those lips could make. The result was a swift punch to the face and him crashing heavily to the ground.

"Oww..."  
"You should have answered me!"  
"I told you all I'm allowed to! She's fine and can't say anything else!"  
"Can't?! Whadya mean, can't!?"  
"Won't! Doesn't want to! Not can't!"

And with that, a rough hand picked him up by his shirt's neckline and slammed him back into the wall. His head followed suit and he saw stars.  _Not the kind I wanted to see though..._

"Are you seriously spacing out again?!"  
"No! Dude, you just punched me and threw me into a wall! Even if I was slightly more coherent right now, I wouldn't tell you anything cuz you're a right jerk!"

Shoving himself off the wall, he collided with Taichi who wasn't expecting his weight, despite how slight it was. The two fell and the blonde bolted off once he untangled himself.  _Not in the direction of the others, this guy is as much of a loony as Hikari is!_ Taichi had already gotten up and was chasing after him, hollering at him to stop. When that didn't work, he changed to abuse and threats. Unfortunately for Yamato, all Taichi's friends had decided to follow along. They'd laughed when Yamato had gotten caught up in Taichi (again, not the way he hoped) and insulted him a little when he bolted, but Taichi was obviously the leader and what he said was obviously law. Law meant chasing down the blonde who had information on his precious little sister and Yamato couldn't help the curses running through his head -  _what the hell made this seem like a good idea?!_

Yamato kept running, hoping he knew the city and its alleys better than Taichi did. He didn't fancy his chances too much - those guys looked like they were tough (Yamato was tough too, but you could actually see their muscles - he just looked like a gangly bag of scrawny) but he didn't stop, he couldn't, he could hear them hollering behind him, feet thumping lightly. Lightly wasn't good - lightly meant they were agile and knew how to use their feet for speed, rather than just to kick someone in the gut - he was used to dealing with blockheaded thugs, not athletic people and smarts! Maybe they weren't smart but there was often enough gathered knowledge in a group to make you curse your luck.

Gasping, he tripped, scrambling to get back up. Thankfully the fastest of the lot hadn't counted on him scrambling up a fence and had crashed headlong into a wall.  _Good, that should stall him for a minute at least._ Panting and wheezing he kept moving, not looking where he was going - he'd figure that one out later when he stopped.  _God, I'm going to_ kill  _Hikari for this!_ He couldn't help but think that Taichi was maybe some type of secret dictator or his 'friends' were either as dumb as dog shit or just plain vicious to be threatening him and chasing him like they were. He could understand Taichi - he would be frantic and desperate to know about Takeru too, if their roles were reversed. Yamato really shouldn't have gone in without a decent plan!

 _Bah, it's bad enough he bloodied my face, but now he's chasing me? Give it up already man!_ Hearing the shouts continue, he shouted something rude back. Instantly he regretted it as the threats started again.  _Jerk. And to think I was going to ask him out!_


	3. The Sun

"Sorry dude."  
"It isn't your fault. It's mine."  
"He shouldn't have gotten away Tai. He's as scrawny as all hell!"  
"Guys fast though. Knows the city like the back of his hand too, if he managed to give us all the slip."

Listening to the bantering of his teammates, Taichi stared across the park. They'd spent more than an hour trying to catch the blonde, but he'd managed to prove elusive. Most of the time, his group had been right on the blonde's tail but he'd suddenly disappeared without a trace. After a fruitless fifteen minutes of searching, they'd stopped to rest and to meet up with the rest of their friends, like they'd planned to do before Yamato had gone and flipped his world upside down.

 _Stupid jerk. How cryptic do you want to get? Does he even know anything or is he just bull shitting, trying to rile me up? Wouldn't surprise me. But we've never had a false alarm like this before. And no ones had info on Hikari for years. I wonder what he really meant - he seemed genuine. He also seemed as jumpy as a rabbit._ Taichi wryly thought that he shouldn't have slammed him against the wall and hit him. Scoffing slightly, he thought of the scene they had caused, running riot in the city. People probably would have been frightened to death.  _I'm surprised nobody called the police. Surprised nobody other than Kaito was hurt, and that was his own stupid fault anyway. Running into a wall like that. Honestly!_  Only vaguely hearing his teammates, Tai followed without truly realising, body running on autopilot. He nodded and hmmed, laughed in the appropriate places and seemed to be with it. Even though Tai went along with his friends to the arcade, a restaurant, around the city, his heart wasn't in it. His mouth did what it should but his eyes were searching for Yamato, his heart was heavy and his mind kept replaying the times before Hikari had disappeared.

Hikari had always been frail and sickly in addition to being small and quiet. He hoped Yamato wasn't lying, hoped she was alive and well - it wouldn't take much for someone to hurt someone like her after all. There had never been a day he hadn't thought about her, worried about her - Hikari was his adorable little sister after all. She hadn't been gone long, only a few years, but it was long enough for his heart to feel cold and for him to become angry whenever he saw happy siblings, despite how much he hated himself for being that way. The worst part about her leaving was that she'd chosen to do so on her own behalf.

Hikari hadn't been completely stable when she'd left. She'd always been small and had a weak immune system. It might sound blasé, but they were used to her being sick, understanding what she needed, not being particularly frantic when they needed to rush her to the hospital (of course, they were family, so they didn't dawdle or anything, but their life revolved around Hikari and her trips to emergency - it didn't cause them as much distress as it did in the beginning). However, when she was six, that changed. After a particularly nasty illness where she almost died, Hikari claimed to hear voices.

Not just one or two, but a dozen or so. It wasn't different personalities or schizophrenia or anything like that. All the drugs and mental health specialists had been able to say was that she was fine - perhaps it was an occasional delusion or hallucination. Their mother had a different theory, one Taichi found much more plausible.

Hikari was psychic.

Their mother wasn't the brightest woman around and the thought her daughter could speak to spirits amazed her. She was overjoyed. Her little girl, a psychic! She couldn't have been happier. Their mother had happily allowed Hikari days off school or let her stay home from family outings whenever she said she was 'communicating' or was 'full of sound'.

Taichi didn't like it, not one bit.

To begin with, it was just his sister claiming stuff. He was three years older and called bullshit. Hikari was acting. Pulling mum's leg to get what she wanted. Being the favoured child for once instead of super star soccer captain Taichi. But that took the back seat soon after he'd listened to her talk to what appeared to be herself.

They were real. There was no way they couldn't be. She was too young to have that vivid of an imagination and to be able to keep it up for minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.

And he was right.

Years went by and this 'illness' didn't show any signs of letting up. If anything, it got worse. Soon, it was more like he was talking to whoever Hikari had last 'spoken' to. They weren't possessing her (whatever  _they_  were, he still had no clue despite all his research) but... It was odd. It was like she was becoming them. Absorbing bits and pieces of them. Or maybe she was just an insanely brilliant actress, but he didn't think that was the case.

Somehow, his docile little sister would snap, or she'd swear or he'd catch her stealing or she'd start speaking jibberish (not a different language jibberish, but about strange monsters and a place called the Digital World...). Sometimes, she'd wake in the middle of the night, screaming nonsense - what the hell was a Tailmon? What Eight Children was she referring to? (If they were a group of bullies at school,  _he'd_ show them a thing or two!) There was no way she could handle it. She had to break eventually.

And she did.

One day, they'd returned from a family outing. Hikari had claimed she was too ill to go. She had a slight fever, so she'd been allowed to stay home (Taichi hadn't seen the logic of a ill twelve-year old being left by herself, but his parents told him to mind his own business, so he begrudgingly did so). Their mother had jokingly told the spirits to let her rest in peace. When they returned home, she believed they had taken offence to that and had kidnapped her.

The police had proven her wrong.

A note had been written in code and hidden. It was found, eventually deciphered and explained to the remaining family. Hikari had snapped under pressure of the voices. She felt as though she couldn't do anything, felt as though she wasn't herself. Nobody could argue with that - they'd all felt the same for months and years, but after exhausting every avenue of help, what else could they have done? The note explained she'd found a place to go, she'd taken her clothes, medicine and her laptop. She'd fed the cat and broken her phone. She loved them with all her heart.

That was it.

No warning, no clues, just a cold piece of paper that smelled vaguely of the perfume she loved but he hated. All that's left was a room that hadn't been touched since the police had finished their investigation. All that remained were warm tears that their mother cried every night. Empty bottles of booze their father used to convince himself he wasn't a bad father.

An amazing son who tried to prove to their parents, anything was possible if you kept trying if you believed. If you worked hard enough. If you did your best and never gave up.

A son who  _failed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter - let me know with a review please!
> 
> Story time wise its already 2013, so here are some ages for reference: Jyou - 23; Tai, Mimi, Sora, Jun - 21; Yama, Kou - 20; Miya - 15; TK, Hika, Dai, Ken - 14; Iori - 12.
> 
> Have a wonderful Christmas and the best New Years wishes to you all!


	4. The Friend

He had a lot of respect for parents. He didn't care what gender they were or how many kids they had, but if you could raise a decent kid, Yamato couldn't respect you more. Having six of his own, he knew how hard it was to try and raise them, to care for them all as individuals and give them the right attention and the right lifestyle, belongings and future. The blonde knew how hard it was to keep a clean house and to make food everyone enjoyed, making lunches everyday and to work at the same time. He worked two jobs - a full time day job in a crappy little firm which had lousy pay and a boss that was an absolute creep as well as a part time job at a cafe. He received a small amount of money as benefits, but even after that, money was scarce.

It was even worse now that he'd gotten ill. He'd been ill for a while and he'd not done anything about it. Usually, his gut never lied - it often exaggerated, but it rarely lied. Yamato had felt like this wasn't something he wasn't going to be able to beat - if he could beat it, he'd need finances which he didn't have. The doctor had told him he was correct. Even so, every now and then he could scrounge up the cash for a check up or a minute bit of treatment - it was better than nothing and he'd rather keep on top of things as much as he could. It never hurt to be too prepared.

After all, when the inevitable came, the kids would be on their own. He had no doubt Miyako would drop out and step into his shoes, but he didn't want that happening. Yamato had time to make a plan, make arrangements and that's what he'd do. For now though, he'd let them keep thinking that nothing was wrong, that he was just normal everyday Yamato whose biggest problem was Daisuke leaving his dirty laundry everywhere and Hikari changing personalities every two seconds.

There was no harm in letting them dream a little longer, right?

. .

"What's up with him?"  
"Dunno. He's been that way for a while."  
"You mean, since-"  
"Dude, don't say it!"

Taichi was only vaguely listening to the hisses of his teammates. They were gossipping about him again. As of late, that was nothing new. Ever since Yamato had found him and subsequently disappeared (for obvious reasons) it had been the same. Yamato and Hikari were the only ones that preoccupied his mind - if he could just  _find_ them, he might be able to grasp a semblance of normality.

The brunette hadn't told his parents yet. What good would raising their hopes do? It would be better to find out more information first, then sort it out and think before acting - it was never his strong point, but he could do it when absolutely necessary. But for now he needed to pretend he was okay. Not just to his parents either. Usually he only spoke to them via the occasional email or phone call, so keeping them suspicion-free would be relatively easy enough.

The problem was his teammates. They were nosy and worried. His performance had been off lately and they were wondering if he, their star player and captain, was good enough to play for the rest of the season. He had to get everything together - or at least look like he had. He had to get their focus onto something else, maybe make them train more? No, that'd require him to surpervise and if he did that, it meant less time for Yamato hunting.

The guys continued their whispering, pointedly looking at him as he slowly filled in the forms needed for the season. At least him taking ages to read and respond wasn't anything new - he'd never been good at written stuff; after all, his mouth ran at one hundred miles per hour, so why take the slow route? But even if he found a way to deal with his teammates and parents, there was still another problem.

His friends. Not that his soccer teammates weren't his friends, but he was talking about his friends from way back when. Tai had met Mimi and Koushirou in junior high and Jyou in his first year of high school. He'd known Sora the longest though. They'd met at the local park when they were five and since then, had built a strong friendship based on honesty, loyalty and most importantly, soccer. Unfortunately, Sora was stubborn and had a keen eye - not much escaped her notice and much less escaped her incessant pestering, especially when she knew there was something fishy going on.

If Sora found out about Yamato and Hikari, she'd probably flip. She might even tell his parents and that could start a whole other police investigation. Taichi didn't want that at all - his parents had been through enough stress, just as he and Hikari had and he didn't want to put that on Yamato either. He'd prefer to try and sort things out simply, honestly, before resorting to the big guns. Sora had everyone's best interests at heart, but it didn't meant the results were always the best.

Sora had been there when Hikari left. She was the one to pick up the pieces, held him as he broke down after soccer practice and beat up people who mocked him for being a sissy, even though they didn't know the situation. She had babysit Hikari a few times, come on family vacations more than once. She was the protective mama bear/big sister combination that scared the crap out of him. He adored her, but he hoped this time, she'd let him sort things out the way they needed to be done.

. .

What a week! Three exams, two assignments, volunteer work, and a false alarm of his dad having a heart attack. Sighing, he rolled his neck from side to side, hoping to ease some of the kinks out of it (he really needed to see someone about that…). Apart from life in general being on his mind, Yamato also wormed his way around his head often enough to make him mental. Yamato was, well, he wanted to say a friend, and a good one at that, but he had a feeling the sentiment was entirely mutual. But that was just Yamato; solitary to all extents possible unless he felt it was his duty to be otherwise.

But Jyou honestly thought of Yamato as more of a friend. Even though he was three years older than the blonde, the medical student looked up to him. He himself would never have been as strong as Yamato to go through all that he had and fight for the kids he looked after. He would have given up a long time ago. But at the same time, Jyou wouldn't have been as stubborn and proud - Yamato still didn't know how to ask for help, or accept it when it was offered. He'd always been like that though - ever since he'd first arrived at the centre, people had always tried to help him, keep him on the right path, but he rebuffed them, polite as he could and made his own way.

Yamato already had two jobs, neither of which paid much, but he refused to Jyou when he suggested he should give counselling a try. Yamato always laughed, thinking it would be stupid to have some as "mental" as he to coach others into being less mental. Jyou thought the opposite: Yamato, while not perfect or entirely over his own issues, was strong and rather stable, he understood young people and had a unique way of thinking. Unlike most medical practitioners in any field, he'd  _been_  there - he'd lived what he was preaching. Who was better than Yamato?

To be honest, volunteering at the centre had gotten at lot harder since Yamato and the kids had left. Yamato still popped by time to time but it wasn't the same. Yamato was the eldest - he demanded respect and when he didn't get it by virtue, he'd get it by force (not that that was encouraged of course). But since he'd left, the hierarchy had been disbanded. The kids had gone, leaving friends and rivals behind, leaving others to leave in their stead. Even though they were struggling without him, Jyou wouldn't say anything to the young man - he'd take the statement as an order to return, a duty to fulfil, rather than also seeing it as a compliment and someone just asking for advice.

The train kept rattling on and Jyou sighed again. What he wouldn't ask for a week of peace and quiet!


	5. The Hope

“Yamato! Oi! Yamato, wait up!” Taichi kept running, trying to catch the blonde who was either doing an amazing job of ignoring him or majorly deaf. He’d had the same dream since he’d met the blonde three weeks ago - he’d spot the mop of blonde hair in the crowd and follow, his feet seeming to moving at half the speed everyone else around him was. It was always a struggle, it was never easy. However, on the rare occasion, Tai did catch the man; but if he ever managed to get close to the blonde, as soon as he caught the other boy, he’d disappear in a puff of smoke or the dream would end. 

But today was different. This wasn’t a dream.  

The weather was horrible, having rained on and off all day, leaving puddles everywhere. Clouds covered the sky, making everything dark and cold. It was much different to the sunny day he’d first met the other so at first, he had thought that the hair was much darker. _Not Yamato. His hair is much shinier and brighter._ But the dank weather had been playing tricks on his eyes so when he realized that, yes, _that_ was the man he’d been unintentionally seeking for what felt like forever, the other man had gotten a head start.  

However, Taichi wasn’t his soccer team’s captain and star for no reason! He was never one to give up either! Especially this time - this was the most important race he’d ever been in and he wouldn’t lose! His speed couldn’t be rivaled by an average kid (he refused to think that said kid had managed to outrun half of his team already - the whole team had claimed they were sick or they didn’t know who they were really looking for; everyone knew it was bullshit and a bad excuse, well those who were there anyway but it was a mutual agreement -  it was an incident they weren’t to speak of again. Ever). He couldn’t lose him this time. He _had_ to get him. For Hikari. 

“YAMATO!” What was supposed to be an epic lunge and grab turned into an amazing slip and crash. Sitting up, the brunette surveyed the blonde underneath him, apologising profusely. Again, the blonde didn’t respond straight away (except for murmuring that his head was going to bruise and his cut was already stinging like a bitch to which Taichi could only roll his eyes and think _Princess_ ). It was then he realize the other had been wearing headphones the entire time.  

Getting up and helping the smaller male to his feet, he removed the offending piece of technology and sheepishly apologised again. “Sorry, totally didn’t realize you were wearing these. I’ve been chasing you for ages!”

“That isn’t creepy in the slightest..”

Taichi laughed, seeming to understand that those dry words and the wry smile were the only “I forgive you” he was going to get.

“But seriously Yamato, I’ve been looking for you for weeks-”  
“Now you do sound like a stalker.” Yamato was frowning, looking weary. He spoke quickly, hoping to calm him down.   
“Would you shut up for a minute? Look, I know you can’t or won’t tell me about Hikari, but you know where she is, right?” The other nodded after hesitating briefly, so he continued on. “I figured it’d be a good idea to give you my number. You know, just in case.”  
“Just in case?”  
“Well, when Hikari left, she was treated like a princess. I don’t think it was because of our family she left. Though maybe mum was overbearing, I don’t know. But personally, I think it was her own demons. So she might want to come back one day. So... Could you pass my details on to her?” 

The brunette could almost see the wheels of the blonde’s mind turning, looking for any reason to say no, to play the creepy stalker card again. Eventually, the smaller man nodded. “You’re gonna have to give me those details first.”

“Awesome! Thanks man, you’re seriously the best!”  
“Why are you just figuring this out now?”

Taichi laughed again, unable to help himself. He had no clue where Hikari was, or if she was okay and really didn’t know anything useful or important to tell his parents, but he had the feeling he could trust Yamato. Somehow, the thought of the blonde keeping an eye on his sister made him feel much more relaxed. He wasn’t one to think things through and his gut instinct often got him into trouble, but he knew that this time, it was completely right, without fail. 

\--- 

“Hikari, you home?”  
“Yeees! Where on earth do you think I was? Don’t you trust me? You know-”

“I bumped into Tai today.” That shut the girl up. He could feel his mental self do a bit of a victory dance. He knew Miyako would be happy about the lack of incessant bitching (though the mauve haired girl did a lot of it herself). Hikari was in one of her bitchy teenage girl moods. Honestly, it was that personality (for lack of a better term) he would really love to get rid of the most - even though that was probably just hormones rather than her illness. “He gave me his contact details, to pass onto you. Just in case you wanted to talk or whatever. Here’s my phone. I need it back in half an hour.”

“What am I supposed to do with the information though?”  
“Whatever you want.” 

Yamato gave his phone to the girl, who had become rather unsure in a matter of a minute or two. He continued to his room, where Takeru was already waiting. 

“Do you think she’ll contact him?”  
“Eventually.”  
“What if she leaves?”  
“She’s allowed to. She’d be able to get more help probably.”  
“What about us?”  
“We’ll just have to deal with it. I’m sure she’d keep in contact.”  
“That’s not what I meant, onii-chan.” 

The older brother sighed, knowing exactly where this was going. Takeru would always bring this up, just when Yamato thought nothing was wrong and was feeling fine.

“I don’t want to talk about our parents Takeru.”  
“Why? Why can’t we go home?”  
“We can. I don’t want to. I’m old enough, and financially sound enough, to live away from them anyway. You can go whenever you wish.”  
“You’d die without me.” It was a vain attempt at humour, at lightening the mood, but Yamato’s “Probably” kept it sober.  

“Don’t you miss home, onii-chan?”  
“Not particularly. Dad was never there, so it was just me. I can deal with it just fine.”  
“When you left... Dad was really upset.”  
“You’ve already told me all this. Telling me again won’t change how I feel and how I felt then.”

“Well it should! Have you ever listened to me properly?! Dad was distraught when you left! He’s a wreck! No one has been able to help him because you were so god damned selfish!” 

Yamato kept still, barely blinking, simply staring at the ceiling from where he lay in the centre of his bed. It was always the same. Sometimes he thought it was his brother who didn’t understand. Granted, he had never told Takeru exactly why he ran - how could he when he still didn’t fully know himself? - but they were brothers. The boy should have some insight into his feelings at least.  

It was always “Dad was sad”, “Dad tried his hardest”, “Dad is a wreck”, or “Mum hates you”, “She can’t forgive you”, “She still loves you but she’s so confused”. _‘Of course, why would it be any different? I’m Yamato, the elder brother. The stupid, stuff up. The misfit, the idiot, the one who could never do anything right.’_  

It pissed him off when thoughts like those went through his head. He did plenty of things right and he had never been a stuff up. Personally, he thought that while running away had helped him grow up immensely in some areas; however, in other areas, such as emotions, he was just as much as a kid as his brother was. Speaking of Takeru, he’d moved onto their mother and her bitterness of how she had blamed Yamato for the accident. Meaning she lied to his face when he was in the hospital.  

“You realise I hate her, right?” The younger blonde was silenced mid rant, shock plastered on his pale face. “She cheated on dad a lot. She spent money we didn’t always have. She could have done far more to save the marriage, or not destroy it in the first place, but she didn’t. She’s selfish. She’s also a liar. She told me while I was in the hospital that she didn’t blame me. That she was so happy I was safe. What a rip. And Takeru, I’m curious as to how you know so much about what dad did. You were in a coma kid, and mum wouldn’t have cared which way what he did. She would have been selfish and done things her way - the only way she’s ever done things. Since we’re done with this topic - for real Takeru - I’m going to have a nap, so if you don’t mind...” 

As his brother left his room, Yamato thought he heard him say that their mother had been extremely glad that he was safe, but having his face buried in his pillows in an attempt to hide whatever feelings were trying to create tears not be noticed by the younger muffled the words, and he didn’t care to call his brother back right now. Not for more lies and false hopes.


	6. The Courage

“Taichi, this isn’t such a good idea.. Are you sure you can trust him?”  
“Don’t worry about it Sora! Yamato’s really cool. He’s defs legit!”  
“Then why hasn’t Hikari contacted you? Why is he being so mysterious? Remember what happened last time?”  
“Oh honestly, give it a rest! You know, I heard this folk tale that people who work in flower shops drone on and on and on and on-”  
“That’s not even funny Mimi.”  
“And they’re called old wives tales dear.”  
“Does it matter? Anyway, my point was that Tai can do what he want. Let him be.”  
“Thanks Mimi!” 

Currently, Taichi and his high school friends were sitting in Mimi’s and Koushirou’s lounge. It hadn’t really surprised anyway when the two of the moved in together immediately after graduating. Koushirou was incredibly smitten and Mimi seemed to have realised that he was genuine, unlike most of the boys who had drooled over her in school. Being her childhood friend and being a ‘nerdy little geek’ had only heightened the appeal of his adorableness, so she said. They often had catch up sessions like this - his university friends were great and all, but these guys had been with him, for like, _ever_.  

“Sorry I’m late guys!”  
“We were expecting it Jyou!”  
“How’d your test go?”  
“I’m positive I failed...”  
“You say that every time - you obviously passed with flying colours as you always do then.”  
“Hey Jyou, we were talking about a guy called Yamato. He claims to know Hikari and Tai thinks he’s honest. What’s your opinion?”  
“Just drop it Sora.”  
“Wait, Yamato and Hikari? As in, blonde Yamato, blue eyes and pale?”  
“Dude, you know him!?” 

When Jyou finally managed to get the ruckus to stop from his revelation, he continued on. “Yeah. You guys know the centre I volunteer at right?” He stopped, waiting for the nods of confirmation before continuing. “He was there for a few years. He ran away from home after an incident that happened with his brother. _No Taichi I will_ not _tell you._ ” The brunette gave a sheepish grin as Sora rolled her eyes and elbowed him. “He’s of age now, so he ‘adopted’, so to say, a few of the kids he befriended there. If I had known Hikari was your sister I would have told you!” 

“So he really knows her?”  
“She’s completely safe with him, I promise. But I do want you to be careful.”  
“That kinda takes away my confidence from your previous statement, Jyou...”

  
The bluenette sighed, knowing his habit of putting his foot in his mouth. “I know, sorry, but its true. Yamato is a brilliant friend and he’ll never let anything happen to your sister, but...”

“But what dude?”  
“Taichi, stop calling everyone dude. It’s uncool and way 2005.”  
“Shush Mimi!”  
“Did he just shush me?!” 

“Hey!” Once all mouths were shut and eyes were on him, the eldest of the group continued. “It’s not that he’s unstable, but he’s not completely fine either. He has a lot of self confidence issues.. I guess that wouldn’t really effect how he treats Hikari, but if you talk to him again, just tread lightly. He doesn’t take well to offence. Yamato can be quite quick to turn. And seriously, do not, and I mean not _ever_ Taichi, talk about his younger brother’s accident. Okay?”

“Yeah yeah. Hikari’s fine, Yamato is a nutcase, don’t blabber. Got it.” 

When one was around Yagami Taichi, one couldn’t help but sigh when in the presence of that know it all boisterous attitude. So that’s what Jyou did, hoping Tai seriously didn’t catch his clumsiness and remember what he’d been told. Taichi was just glad that Sora seemed to be on board - she wasn’t happy about the situation, but she respected his way of doing things and that was a start.  

\--- 

“Detention!” The classed laughed as Daisuke shrunk into his seat. _Aw man, Yamato’s gonna be pissed... Again._ It wasn’t his fault he was always in trouble! He was just loud and didn’t think before he spoke - Daisuke often joked he wanted a stop button between his brain and mouth for Christmas. Sighing, the mahogany haired teen set about to doodling on his notes, silently moaning about his fate. The rest of the class passed by mostly uneventfully, with Daisuke’s feeling of impending doom growing as the clock kept ticking. He probably should have paid more attention, but he couldn’t help but mope. When the end of the day finally came around, he cleaned the class room and their designated areas with his classmates before going to serve his detention. 

Lines, as he knew all too well, were incredibly boring and pointless. However, they were so easy that you had plenty of time to think. Obviously you were supposed to apologise and be sorry and repent for your actions and _blah blah blah_ , but seriously, who ever did that? Soccer crossed his mind more than once, before it turned to what he should be doing at home - watching tv. 

Of course, that just made him think that Hikari and Takeru were watching tv together which pissed him off. Sighing, he knew it was his fault for being a smart arse in class, but god their teacher was annoying! But that was small stuff. The big stuff was Hikari, and unlike his usual daily thoughts of _“How do I get her to notice me?”_ and _“How can I get rid of Takeru for a bit?”_ , his thoughts today were much more serious. 

_I wonder if she’ll leave us. She hasn’t been with us that long and she did choose to leave. Maybe she wants to go back home but hasn’t had the courage to? Seeing her brother and having his details... Maybe she’ll leave for good. We might never see her again. Will that be okay? I mean, she certainly won’t be able to give me emotional whiplash anymore, but she’s still my friend. And then Miyako would be the only girl in the house.. We’d all be dead!_

 As his teacher signalled his hour was up, Daisuke sighed and shoved his paper at the old man, exaggerating the pain in his wrist, pouting and complaining while rubbing the sore limb. Once dismissed by the grey haired man, Daisuke bolted out of the class room, down the stairs, through the hall, swapped his shoes in a rush and _boom_! Out the door and into freedom! 

There was seriously nothing better than the end of a school day, especially when that day was a Friday! Daisuke continued running, wind messing up his burgundy hair as it stole his breath as he laughed along with it. Nothing better than going _home_. It wasn’t his _real_ home, but he loved it anyway - he lived with a pack of nut cases but he wouldn’t have it any other way! 

But then he stopped. Soccer! Okay, so maybe he had a bit of a one track mind, but that was _his_ park and it was _his_ favourite game! The boy bent down, making sure his laces were tied and then dumped his bag carelessly, all thoughts of home forgotten. He sprinted down the hill and kicked the ball with a such a force it flew across the makeshift field and into where he assumed the makeshift goals were. 

And he was right. The opposite ‘team’ wasn’t too impressed but the team he had scored for was quite happy to let him continuing playing after some bantering. As much as he loved soccer, his game was slightly off and he knew it. For the next hour, he tried to get his head back in the game, but his mind kept wandering off. Daisuke mucked around with the older guys, feeling much more at ease than he did with the kids at school despite the fact they were complete strangers.  

Except one. Yagami Taichi. The brunette didn’t know who he was, but Daisuke remembered him from the other day and had watched Hikari (and her various ‘faces’) paint and draw different styled portraits of the man. He doubt he would be able to forget him anytime soon. 

By the time the game was over, everyone was getting ready to part, taking different paths home. Taichi would be taking a different path to him. His cheeriness faded as he realised that. _Do I let him go? Hikari should go back to her family. He’s a nice guy._ He was infamous for making idiotic split second decisions and today was no different. _Well, here goes!_  

“Yo, Taichi!” The young man in question turned around, a questioning look in his eyes. He raised an eyebrow in response to the enthusiastic shout. “You’re Hikari’s brother, right?” That had the taller guy over to his side in a heartbeat. 

“What do you know? Tell me about Yamato!”  
 _Why on earth does he want to know about Yama?_ “Yamato adopted me as well. Well, not adopted, technically, but well, it’s a bit complicated -”  
“Already had that explained. Sorta. Go on.”  
“Really? Well, anyway, Hikari’s cool, but I just thought it was a bit unfair that she has your details but you don’t have hers. I won’t give you her number or email, cuz she’ll throw a hissy, but I’ll give you our address, in case anything happens, y’know?”  
“You’re the best! Daisuke, right?   
“Yep! And I already know I’m awesome!” 

The two laughed, continuing to chat, getting along like a house on fire. Eventually, Daisuke did cough up his address (though he had an eerie feeling he shouldn’t have) and the two soccer nuts exchanged phone numbers before parting. _He’s almost as cool as Yamato! Ah shit! Yamato! I’m gonna be in so much trouble!!_ The happy pace he’d been walking at turned into a sprint as the burgundy haired boy tried to desperately get home before his curfew. 

\--- 

“Where HAVE you been! You were supposed to be back ages ago!”  
“But it’s Friday! Curfew is different!”  
“When you’re not grounded it is!” _Oops, forgot about being grounded... How do I talk my way out of this one..?  
_ “I’m really sorry but I had detention and-”  
“Miyako saw you playing soccer. Even if she hadn’t, I would have figured it out but the stains on your uniform mister.” Daisuke glared at the older girl who pulled a face at him. _Suck up._    
“How do I fix this?”  
“You mean how do you weasel your way into my good books again?” The others giggled and Yamato, despite how annoyed he was (Daisuke knew he’d been fretting - the blonde always cooked a ridiculous excess of food when he was worried and the kitchen smelt _amazing_ ) smiled as well. “Dishes for a week and your not going to the movies with everyone tomorrow. Deal?”  
“Deal!” _Thank god that’s over!_  

To be honest, he hadn’t wanted to go to the movies anyway. It was Miyako’s turn to choose and she’d always pick a chick flick which he hated (well, he found them amusing because he always made stupid comments, but the taller girl would always beat him up later so, yeah, not so much fun). But apart from that, it meant he’d have Yamato to himself! He meant that in a non-creepy/stalker way, of course. He was more like a doting adorable brother. 

But he was better than Takeru. Takeru was always questioning Yamato and complaining and whining and trying to get the elder blonde to do things he didn’t want to do. Daisuke understood part of that was just being a younger brother who didn’t fully understand the situation, but Takeru needed to back off before he pushed Yamato away. Yamato was old enough to do as he pleased. And Takeru was old enough that he didn’t need to hold onto his big brother’s hand anymore. Yamato didn’t need to be bossed around by his kid brother (Daisuke absolutely hated the fact that Yamato would do whatever the younger blonde wanted - Takeru was like an angel in his brother’s eyes and his whole world was centered around him, whether he wanted it to be or not). 

Daisuke was better than that. He respected when Yamato wanted to be alone and he realised that sometimes, silence could say more than words ever could. They’d also spent a lot of time together at the centre. He may not have been the first to meet Yamato, but he’d been one of the first to make a good impression. He knew Yamato felt sorry for mute Iori and parentless Miyako, but Daisuke had been the first who hadn’t blabbed his story but had just decided to be friends first.

 Of course, once he started talking, he couldn’t stop, so Yamato had found out his story pretty quickly. Daisuke didn’t think his story was a sob story - it was his life and had happened because of people being too stubborn and proud and of people making the wrong decisions. His older sister, Jun, had run away from home, due to their parents pushy and demanding ways. When she left, he was left to step up onto her pedestal, to be the best, to be first, to win. Yeah, he was competitive, but that was far too much! Soon enough, he’d gotten into an arguement with his father.

 A broken nose and a packed backpack later and home was the streets. The streets led to knowledge in some unsavory topics and then to cover. And by cover, he meant a roof over his head. But of course, street kids who steal and thieve and lie and cheat and fight only go to one place - jail. It was juvenile detention and wasn’t too bad in comparison to some stories he heard - of course, it wasn’t pretty either. But he survived. 

 Six months later and he was free. As his luck would have it, the day he was released brought with it a massive storm. The first place he had been able to find to take him in was a rehab centre. It had a fancy name but he couldn’t remember that anymore. Just cuz he lived on the streets didn’t mean he needed rehab! So he refused and kept walking, trying to stay as dry as he could. However, this was an unfamiliar city - he’d been sent to a place far from home that would set up a home for him, but he decided to work things out his own; probably not the smartest idea. After the rehab centre, he didn’t run into anything useful. There were none of the usual people to beg for help or no familiar hangouts to idle the time away. 

The alleys weren’t the same. Alleys were never safe, but at least he knew the ones back home. The first one he wandered into held a thug, a good twice his weight in muscle and a good two heads taller than him. And thats when he’d met Yamato. 

The blonde had gotten a black eye and a cracked rib for his efforts, but he’d won out in the end (Daisuke wasn’t going to lie - it was totally because he’d helped, despite Yamato’s claims that he’d only gotten in the way). Yamato had told him to take care and walked off, but Daisuke had always had a keen eye and like hell if he was going to let go of such a good thing! 

So he followed. In the end, he found Yamato and the centre and was welcomed with open arms. He didn’t get along with everyone, but he didn’t need to. He had Yamato, no one else was necessary. Yamato was a lot like his sister - cranky on the surface, sweet underneath; a looker but oblivious to it; smart in various ways; emotional (though Jun was outwards based while Yamato clammed up). His hero had gotten pissy when Daisuke had told him he reminded him of a girl, but Daisuke persisted (‘stalked’ as Yamato said). 

Eventually, they became good friends. Best friends. They were so close, they were almost inseparable. Like brothers. 

That’s when Takeru decided to show up. 

He’d come with Ken (who Daisuke got along incredibly well with due to their love for soccer). Yamato hadn’t meant to do it, but as soon as he found his real family, he’d dropped Daisuke (and to a lesser extent, Miyako and Iori) like a hot potato. Why wouldn’t he? His world had been straightened, his ‘centre’ had returned.  

Takeru knew this. Daisuke wasn’t exaggerating when he claimed the other boy was jealous of the bond he had with the older man. Miyako saw it too. The younger one claimed obliviousness and since he was one of the first to meet Hikari, whenever the arguement came up, she took his side. Naturally. 

Their household was often divided. Miyako and Hikari hated each other. Miyako and Daisuke often argued, but they shared a lot of the same ideals and beliefs. Daisuke hated Takeru and Takeru was jealous of him. Hikari would always back Takeru and Miyako was against anyone who Hikari was with. Iori was neutral. Ken often sided with him, but he’d side with anyone who had a strong arguement he agreed with - if he didn’t agree, he’d agree to compromise. Yamato had realised Takeru wasn’t leaving anytime soon and had gone back to loving them all equally, though he still did occasionally favour Takeru, which was expected. Takeru, however, tried to force his brother’s hand and make him the favoured one all the time.  

But Daisuke wouldn’t lose. He’d make Yamato see what a brat his brother was. He’d show him how controlling and cunning the supposedly innocent one truly was. He’d win the war and Yamato in the end. Failing wasn’t in his nature.


	7. The Kindness

“Ne, Ken-kun?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why do you think Daisuke hates me?”  
“You know why - Yamato replaced his sister but was more than her at the same time. You came along and you replaced Daisuke since it seems he was just a replacement for you in the first place.”  
Takeru huffed. “It’s not my fault I’m his brother.”

 Ken placed a smile on his face, but he sighed internally. It wasn’t Takeru’s fault that Yamato had a brother complex. That he had abandonment issues. If he didn’t have those quirks, the bluenette boy highly doubted whether the young man would have taken them all under his wing. After all, it wasn’t an easy task, looking after six kids by yourself.  

Yamato had to work, cook and clean. He helped sort disputes and helped with homework. He was brother, mother and father. Teacher too. He was everything rolled into one. Everything except himself, it seemed.  

If Ken was brutally honest, he would have told Takeru the only time Yamato had only ever been himself was when he had been seperated from his brother. Yes, he had been ridden by guilt, depressed, anxious. He’d run from everything he’d ever known. But he’d grown. Ken had only known Yamato at a glance (literally, a glance) before he flung himself at Takeru. But from what he’d been told by the others, Yamato had changed in that instant.  

Miyako had called him a doormat, but he’d soon realised she was the queen of exaggeration. Yet Daisuke had seconded the description, making him truly wonder if she was being honest for once. Before Takeru, Daisuke said, Yamato had done as he pleased, not worrying about anyone else. But now Takeru was front and centre. Daisuke had been clear to point out they were family and it was normal, considering what they had been through. 

But Takeru’s fake ignorance and play on his brother’s emotions weren’t as innocent. Ken had watched him change slightly. The boy he met on the streets was still there, but there was something darker too. Perhaps it had always been there and it just hadn’t needed to arise before. Perhaps it was just jealously, because without a doubt, Takeru had been fuming when he spotted Daisuke clinging to his brother and Yamato laughing rather than shoving him away.  

But Ken found it hard to blame Takeru too much. He didn’t know much about siblings. He didn’t know much about people and behaviour and emotions in general, if he were honest. When he was younger, his older brother Osamu had been hit by a car. Ken had blamed himself. His parents had only heard _“Ken’s fault”_ from the police, rather than _“Ken believes it’s his fault”_. They’d never forgiven him, no matter how hard he tried.  

The abuse had lessened when Ken died. Obviously, he wasn’t dead, but he might as well been. Ken was gone, a people pleaser without a personality had replaced him. But one night, it failed to please properly, and a swift hit was landed by his mother’s frying pan. That awoke _him_. 

The Kaiser. 

Ken, trapped in the back of his mind, had no idea what else to call him. What else do you call the person who burnt down your house, taking your parents with it, and destroys you from the inside out? What else do you call a person who is such a smooth talker that he can keep you from getting in trouble with the police? So quick and agile that missing person posters were ripped down less than a day after they were put up?  

Arrogant, cocky, sinful and proud, the Kaiser was everything that pre-people pleaser Ken wasn’t. Kaiser allowed him to survive (though at the time, he had serious doubts he wanted to) long enough to meet Takeru. Speaking to the boy had helped. Kaiser was still there, but he no longer had such control over his body. The _‘other him’_ , as he was sometimes called, was always present in his mind though, snarling and belittling, making him doubt everything he did, everything everyone else did... 

At least Ken could control his actions. He had freedom of speech now. It was a start and he certainly wasn’t going to let it be the end.  

It had almost been the end when he’d met Daisuke though. The burgundy haired boy was a strong presence. He was like the Kaiser’s opposite. Happiness and true strength (possibly stupidity) compared to negativity and sheer force and brutality. People listened to Daisuke whereas people fell before the Kaiser. The Kaiser was not at all pleased that the other boy had such power over others without even trying.

 He’d tried to do something, but the result left him black and blue, hence the Kaiser’s retreat into his mind. Ken knew he was biding his time to make a move on Daisuke, which is why Ken also found it awkward to be around Takeru. He knew the blonde, even though he hated Ken’s other part, didn’t like Daisuke at all, and would be quite happen to take him down. 

_Jealousy is such a horrid thing._

 --- 

“Shut up Miyako!”  
“Bring it squirt!” Miyako had her fists up in what looked like a playful gesture, but she’d fooled people with that act before. The girl had a mean punch, made meaner by the rings she seemed ever so fond of.  
“What the hell do you know anyway?! You’re just a jealous little bitch who can’t get over the fact nobody wants her!” 

The attitude in the lounge room had been slightly tense previously (everyone knew a cat fight could escalate quickly without warning) since Hikari and Miyako had been arguing about families, which was always a sensitive topic but to go that far...  

Miyako snorted. She appeared to be taking it in stride, but she’d be either inconsolable or viscious later. “Let it out Hikari, why don’t you tell us how you all really feel? Are we a princess today? Or are we someone who needs pitying?” 

Hikari snarled and hurled out several insults in response. Those watching had no idea what to do. Yamato usually stopped these fights, but the blonde was at his night job. Even if he had been present, it seemed unlikely he’d be able to stop a fight like this. Perhaps he wouldn’t have bothered. While he never advocated violence, if that was how people needed to sort themselves out, he’d let them go for it (within reason, of course). And this was obviously laundry that needed airing, desperately at that. 

“To be honest, Hikari, I’m not jealous at all. My parents were amazing people. So were my siblings. But they’re gone now. I don’t want another family. My aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents... They aren’t the same. I don’t want a replacement - nothing can replace the original. It’s number one. Unique. None of them wanted me, you say. So? Like I said, I don’t want them either. They shuffled me around, relative to relative, complaining I was too _strange_ and _obnoxious_. Well hey, guess what? _They_ are the ones missing out, not me. Not including you, because you’re a right bitch most of the time, I’ve got friends now. Perhaps. I dunno if I like you guys enough for that yet, but I’m not gonna piss you off intentionally. I can tolerate you. And for now, that’s enough.” 

Hikari started to say something, but Miyako kept rolling on. Daisuke, who normally wasn’t a huge fan of the purple haired girl, couldn’t help but cheering her on. Hikari had pushed it and did often act superior due to the conflicting ‘people’ within her. However, he knew she could control it to a degree - she didn’t want to though, why he had no idea. But that was neither here nor there. She’d pushed Miyako and the girl was currently chewing her out with witty and scathing insults - honesty was always the best policy in his view. 

“You however, have a family. You say I’m jealous that you have a family - if family is so amazing, why haven’t you left? Apart from the fact you won’t be treated like you’re special, apart from the fact you’re a coward? Well, Hikari? Why aren’t you returning to big brother Tai who’s all that and a bag of chips? Why aren’t you going to the place that was consistent?” 

Silence reigned the room. Iori was watching closely and Takeru was listening intently - perhaps Hikari had the same reasoning as Yamato for not wanting to return? 

“You know why? Because it’s everything I’ve just said. _Family isn’t that great._ Truth hurts, doesn’t it, princess?” With that, the girl stormed out of the room, back into the room she and Hikari shared, the door slamming with a loud and echoing bang. Daisuke let out a low whistle. 

 “Ya gotta admit, girls got balls.” 

Ken admonished him for being crude, but mentally agreed that Miyako was right. He knew Daisuke agreed as well, but had no idea what Iori thought - the boy, apart from being mute, had been at the centre long before the rest of them and seemed to have deemed them unworthy of knowing his tale. 

The only thing that frightened him about Miyako’s triad was his easy agreement. He wasn’t voicing his opinions aloud, so this was Ken, not people pleaser Ken. He didn’t like to be so critical and judgmental. He knew first impressions were often wrong and thoughts were often misguided and clouded by emotions.  

The second thing that frightened him was that he and the Kaiser, for once, were thinking the same thing. What on earth did that mean? Were he and the Kaiser truly one then? Was the Kaiser his ‘bad’ half, while Ken was the ‘good’ half? After everything the Kaiser had done, was it okay that they had the same thoughts on one matter? Was it okay for them to agree on one thing, or did that mean that he, Ken, was becoming just as bad?  

He honestly didn’t know what the Kaiser was. He didn’t really want to look into it either. Perhaps it was because he’d either scare himself more so than he already was, or give himself false hope, thinking he could get rid of the Kaiser when really, he was going to be stuck with him forever. From mutterings he’d heard and pieces he had place together, he assumed it was something like an alternate personality. He couldn’t control when the Kaiser ‘took over’ - occasionally he remembered what transpired when the other him was in control, but mostly he was clueless (though the bastard often left strong clues and hints to torment him). But even when the Kaiser wasn’t fully ‘possessing’ him, he was always in the back of his mind. He’d mutter and make snide remarks, encouraging horrible thoughts and destroying his self worth. It was worse when he wasn’t there at all. All Ken could think of was when he was going to come back? Had he truly gone? What was he planning? Was he ever really there in the first place or am I just legitimately crazy? 

Placing his head in his hands, he tried to block out Hikari crying to Takeru. _Breath in, breath out... In, out... In, out... In.... Out...._  

On the other side of the room, Iori was still watching, eyes as sharp as a hawks. _Kaiser. Not surprising. Can he handle it?_

Daisuke was thinking similar thoughts. _Ken... I wish you’d open up to us a bit more. Me specifically. You_ know _I can kick that guy’s arse out of your head! Stubborn bugger._   

Daisuke wasn’t as smart as Ken. No where near it. And the Kaiser was more cunning and far more violent than Ken was. Another league completely. But Daisuke could _do_ violence and mindless brawling and shouting. It wasn’t good, because whenever he fought with the Kaiser, Ken always had to deal with the bruises and punishments later. Detention at school wasn’t unexpected, but he’d backed off after Ken told him that the Kaiser always terrorised him worse after a fight. But how else was he supposed to help? If he beat the bastard up, for a while, he’d retreat (though then he’d come and harass Ken worse than the last time). He didn’t feel helpless often - he was the get goer, the one who never gave up.  

But there wasn’t much anyone could do about his predicament. Ken could only do what Ken was able to do. Sometimes, that was enough. Fighting by yourself was an experience and a half. Friends were useful allies, but sometimes, for them to do anything would only make it worse. Daisuke knew that occasionally, all you needed was a shoulder to rely on.  

Quickly, he bounded across the room to share Ken’s arm chair with him. He ignored Takeru’s glare and Iori’s raised eyebrow. Tuning Hikari completely out, he did the only thing he felt he was possible able to do right now. He thought it was the only thing both Ken and the Kaiser would let him do, both being just as stubborn as the other. 

He put his hand on his the other boys shoulder and smiled.

 


	8. Family

“Please tell me you aren’t serious.” Taichi’s “I’m _totally_ serious Sora!” held little effect due to the amount of food in his mouth, but sadly, Sora knew that for him to be talking so casually about another mysterious male who had connections with Hikari, the brunette seriously believed their claims. There was no proof, nothing except their words and his belief. 

She tried to convince him to do more, to find out where they lived, follow the kid to school. Sora wasn’t one for being a creeper, but if this all turned out to be some sick prank, someone’s idea of a laugh, vile lies and cruel tricks... She didn’t know how she could help Tai with that type of pain. 

Taichi had been Sora’s friends since primary school. He knew the look on her face (her brows would crease and she’d bite her lower lip and tug at it) when she was going to go into a stubborn rant. She worked at a flower store, so one of his favourite sayings was “nip it in the bud before it blooms” (needless to say, the orange haired girl didn’t find this too amusing).  

“It’s cool, I’m on it.” A raised eyebrow, clearly saying _“Really?”_. “Daisuke gave me his address. If Yamato really adopted them both, they’ll live together. I’m gonna pay the kid a visit. If Hikari’s not there, I’ll smash his face. Easy as pie, Sora, easy as pie!” 

Watching her friend stuff his face again, Sora had the feeling it wasn’t going to be anywhere near that simple. _‘Honestly, Tai, I seriously have no idea what to do with you sometimes. How do you know if you can trust this Daisuke kid anyway? Aren’t all the people who go to the centre supposed to have problems or something? I really hope you know what you’re getting yourself into...’_  

\---

 _Hey  
_ _It’s just me. I was thinking we could go have coffee one day?  
_ _Just us. To catch up and stuff I guess.  
_ _Let me know._  

 _Um sry hate 2 b rude but who r u?_  

Her brother’s reply made her both feel incredibly mad and stupid. She simply responded with a _Sorry! It’s Hikari!_ Before waiting anxiously for the response. It’d been two months since she’d received Taichi’s details. One thing she hated was cowardice, but that’s just what she’d been practicing, wasn’t it? 

A second later, the phone vibrated. She clicked in her passcode and the screen lit up allowing her to read the new message.  

 _Sure! U have skl, right? Tel me when ur free & wel meet up :)_ 

Fingers flying over the keypad, she typed back that she was free this Sunday afternoon. She clutched the phone tighter, waiting for him to respond. After half an hour, he finally got back to her. 

 _Sry! Had 2 beg my boss 4 time off. Do u want me 2 pik u up?_  

They went back and forth a bit more, sorting out specific times and places. Hikari adamantly refused to let him pick her up from home - apart from the fact it was nobodies business apart from her own what she was doing, if things turned out badly, she didn’t want Tai to know where she lived. It took her a while to decipher some of his messages (she’d never been brilliant with chat speak) but in the end, they’d agreed he’d pick her up at 3:30pm on Sunday at her school (about a 15 minute walk from her house). The young girl sent him a message, saying good night and a thanks in advance for the lift. 

 _No worries, Hikari-chan. I’ve missed you all these years. It was just good to talk to you again. Your brother, Tai_  

And to that, she had no idea how to respond. 

\--- 

A pale pink dress and flat ballet styled shoes is what she’d chosen. She just hoped she hadn’t overdressed for coffee. But it was the first time Taichi would be seeing her since she ran and it was a hot day... Too late now, the obnoxious beat up red car that was tooting her must of held her brother. She’d just have to swing with things now. 

The car slowed down before pulling to a stop. Taichi got out and rested his crossed arms on the top of the vehicle, eyes appraising her. She fiddled with the strap of her bag and glared back. Eventually he smiled. 

“It’s good to see you again, Hikari-chan.”

 He opened the door for her and was a careful driver (apparently only when girls’ were in the car, he said). The drive was relatively uneventful. It seemed as though they had everything to talk about, but nothing came out. Hikari felt that if she spoke, she’d just blurt her life story out in five minutes and they’d have nothing left to say. Taichi felt that his emotions would burst forth and he’d be torn between crying and yelling and god knows what else. 

Upon reaching the cafe (despite how crowded it was due to owning an air conditioner, it was one of the relatively quieter ones), they took their seats and ordered. While waiting, Tai found a safe subject - nothing too personal, but it’d let Hikari know what was going on in his life without intruding on hers. 

“Hey, do you remember Sora?” She squinted and scrunched up her nose in an effort to remember, so he prompted her again. “Tomboy? Red head? She lived in the same apartment as us? Mother runs-”  
“A flower shop!” Taichi grinned as Hikari started asking questions of if they still kept in contact, if she was okay and more.

 He talked more about himself while they sat for the next few hours, eating cake and drinking tea and coffee. It wasn’t in his nature to think ahead too much, but he had a gut feeling (and his gut feelings were _never_ wrong... Well mostly) that this was something akin to a test. Hikari would see if he was trustworthy or not, see whether she wanted him in her life or not. He couldn’t fail. 

After he’d said Sora and he had continued to grow up together and she was now studying education at university, he told her about his other friends. The guys on the soccer team were mentioned only briefly - they weren’t _friend_ friends. Koushirou was his high school tutor despite being younger than him (that made Hikari laugh and snort) and was studying computers, while his girlfriend Mimi already owned her own clothes shop and was in the process of making her own label. Jyou had moved into their apartment block somewhere along the line and was close to graduating from medical school. Their parents were fine (that had darkened Hikari’s face for a second) and their cat Miko was fatter than ever. 

By the time the shop shut, all he’d learnt about his sister was that she was in the same core class as Daisuke, Takeru and a boy called Ken. He learnt the first two liked her, but she wasn’t interested. She was on the school council and was in the top five of her class. Yamato had adopted Ken as well as two others. Iori she could handle, but Miyako pushed the wrong buttons.  

Hikari didn’t mention the voices. 

But that was okay. She asked for a lift home which he was quite happy to do. He walked her to the door. Even though they hadn’t been chatting too much on the return journey, the silence had been companionable and he was her brother, it was his duty to make sure she got home safe. 

She didn’t grumble, though she did roll her eyes. Just as she was saying goodbye and reaching to open the door, it flew open. An angry Yamato was revealed and he was already into his _“Where the hell have you been?!?”_ speech when he realised Taichi was there. He quickly apologised and said Hikari had neglected to tell anyone where she was going. Taichi quickly jumped to Yamato’s side and attempted to lecture her. 

He was left at the door with a good night and another eye roll while Yamato yelled at her retreating back it was her turn to set the table, so she better not brood for too long. The brunette couldn’t help laughing at the blonde’s mother hen attitude but had to quickly take back his words when the blonde turned his suddenly icy blue eyes on him in a deathly glare.

 Yamato thanked him for bringing Hikari home and said he was glad she’d contacted him. The taller male was about to reply when Daisuke came to see who was _still_ at the door and greeted the younger boy warmly. When Yamato found out Daisuke had blabbed, he was mad, but that was nothing compared to how the blonde acted when he found out the boy had given their address to a _stranger_. 

Taichi tried to minimise his stranger status but Yamato was still plowing on about stranger danger. The new rant was only broken when Ken came to say dinner was finished and asked if they were to set a plate for Taichi. Daisuke quickly ran to convince Hikari to let him stay while Yamato thought it prudent to actually ask the person in question.  

“If Hikari says yes, I’d love to.” 

When the girl in question came around (after what seemed like an incredibly long time to Taichi), she scrutinised her brother and nodded briskly before wandering into the kitchen. Ken smiled and Daisuke let out a whoop of excitement. Taichi let out a relived sigh and Yamato placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling softly. 

“You had nothing to worry about, you know?” 

Taichi couldn’t help but laugh as he was led into the incredibly tiny and cramped kitchen. Looking around, he realised he hadn’t had the time to form impressions, but really, what use were they anyway? The one thing he did know was that even if it was odd and probably hostile at times, this tiny room cramped with teenagers trying to get as much food on their plate before someone else took the last of it contained one thing.  

A family. 

And that was something he could definitely approve of.


	9. Honesty

Fact Number One: Life is a bitch.   
Fact Number Two: Life is at its bitchiest when everything is going wrong.  
Fact Number Three: He had no idea what to do. 

The news honestly hadn’t been good. The blonde wasn’t expecting a cure or a miracle, but he was hoping for Lady Luck to be on his side, for at least a little bit. But no. The poison was spreading and soon, it wouldn’t be able to spread any further. Not long after that, his time would be up. Ishida Yamato would be nothing more than a bunch of memories and some ash scattered in the wind.  

He felt cold thinking about it. He was too young for this shit. This was for old people, who’d already had their turn at life. He’d hoped he’d had longer, but apparently that wasn’t the case. Hell, if you were going to end on a bad note, couldn’t it at least be an easy bad note? Instead of being simple, there were wills and plans and tests and appointments and everything to keep him preoccupied and focusing on the inevitable, rather than on the present and the things that made him thankful for even the short time he had left. 

The blonde wished he was more of an adult, wished he at least had an adult figure to turn to. But he was alone with a bunch of kids. Who were they to turn to? Was it fair to keep them with him now? Shouldn’t he send them back home? Or start making plans at least? Should that be something he put in his will - either to send them back to family or keep them together or put them in foster care or maybe he should leave them to Jyou? Each question added another twenty and he felt like he was getting nowhere. 

Maybe he should try to contact their families? Perhaps the more responsible and caring members, like Daisuke’s sister, Jun. But what if they didn’t want to go back to their families? What if the parents didn’t want them back? Surely they would miss their kids? Taichi did and Takeru always wanted to go home. But not everyone _had_ a home. Well, they did - him. So if he left, who would be there for them? 

\--- 

It was about a week after the last time they met when he bumped into Yamato again. The younger male had greeted him with a very bright smile, which had stopped Taichi in his tracks. So far, it hadn’t been a very good day. Despite the fact that he knew she cared, Sora was seriously pushing things too far. He knew Hikari had been like a sister to her too and now they knew Yamato and Daisuke weren’t lying, now he had seen Hikari, why couldn’t she just let it go? There was just no pleasing people sometimes. 

But seeing Yamato seemed to release some of those feelings and he agreed to have coffee with the blonde. He hadn’t had anything planned for the day except spend time with Sora, but with the arguement they just had, the soccer captain didn’t feel like making up just yet. And there was something different about Yamato too. He couldn’t place his finger on it, but it felt like he’d known the shorter male for years. It was... comforting, if he were honest. 

Yamato felt like his friends. He felt like he could say anything and everything, openly and honestly, without having to worry about political correctness or anything stupid. Yamato, for some strange reason, felt like home. 

“What brings you out today? The weathers pretty horrible for a midday walk.”

The blonde was right. The weather was horrendous. Of course, he hadn’t realised that until he’d left his apartment block only to end up being soaked. His pride and natural stubborness made him refuse to turn tale to get an umbrella, so his clothes and hair looked slightly worse for wear. “Ah, just an arguement with a friend. Thought I’d clear my head a bit.”  

The boy ‘mmm-hmm’ed and responded that he had just finished work for the day so decided to reward himself before having to go home. But there was something in the way he said it that made Taichi feel like he was lying. Well, not lying really, but just not being completely honest. Not like it was his business or anything - hell, they barely knew each other. It just made him curious was all. Maybe it was the same with Hikari. Maybe he had to prove his worthiness before getting the other to open up. 

“I was fighting with my friend Sora about you.”  
“Me? Why on earth would you do that?”  
“Despite the fact I’ve seen Hikari now, she still seems to think you and Daisuke are plotting something?” He was honestly expecting Yamato to get defensive, snap back or something. He wasn’t expecting the other boy to laugh. He calmed down and continued.

“Sorry, that just sounds like a really cheesy day time tv film or something.” Tai couldn’t help but laugh along.    
“But really, if she’s that worried, why doesn’t she come out and meet us?”  
“Like dinner?”

“Ah... Well, after the mess that happened when you were there, that’s probably not the best way to make a good impression...” Taichi snorted, remembering how the loud dinner had soon evolved into a full on food fight. He leant back in his chair as much as he could without disturbing anyone, trying to think of a way to spend time with Hikari (he refused to admit he wanted to see Yamato again) and convince Sora everything was okay. 

Back when they were younger, he and Sora were inseparable. She often came back to their apartment and watched movies and played games with the two of them. Hikari, being ill all the time (and being weird too) didn’t make friends easily as their parents were over protective and she didn’t often leave the apartment. Sora always looked after Hikari and asked about her all the time - they were good friends and Hikari often called her sister. It was no wonder Sora was cautious - it was bad enough watching him go through the heart break the first time, let alone imagining what would happen if he had to experience it again. 

Taichi tried to put that into words. “Well, when we were little, Sora was always with us. She cared for Hikari like a big sister would. Heck, Hikari knew her better than she knew some of our relatives. Sora was devastated when Hikari left. Not just for her, but for us too - she did everything she could to help, from making posters and volunteering at the police station when she could to hopefully hear things.” He paused, taking a drink, running the words over in his mouth before letting them go. 

“She helped me in school. I was a wreck, as you can imagine.” Yamato nodded deeply, happy to listen to the story. “I was dealing with her leaving and then having to pick up after mum and dad while they picked themselves together. We’ve had false leads before, but she’s always been there to help. Even normally, she’s my best friend and theres really not a day that we don’t see each other. Now that I’ve moved out of home, she makes sure that my place is clean, I’m studying properly and even cooks for me!” Laughing, he continued talking about Sora and pondered ways of winning her over.

 Yamato sat patiently as Taichi rambled. From what he could gather, Sora had a crush on Tai. Always there, always caring, the best female friend and making sure he was looked after. Not many friends cook for you and clean for you after all. But he also understood that Taichi was about as bright as a rock. Ah well. If someone else was seriously interested in Taichi, Yamato would let them go first - after all, he was still struggling with his feelings for the other man, so it’d be silly to take the chance from someone else when he may just turn tail on the idea later. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous still.  

“I got it!” Possibly too loud by the stares he was receiving, but whatever. “We’ll go to Disneyland! I know it’s a bit of a drive, but it’ll be awesome! Whatcha think?”  
He watched Yamato think and noticed the boy tended to blink a lot as he did so. ‘ _He really looks quite girly like that... Pretty too...’_ He quickly shook his head at that last thought, and prodded the boy to get his attention. 

 “I suppose it would be fun. We’d have to save up for it though. It’d cost a bit to get there, and theres food and passes and stuff...”  
"But thats a yes, right?”  
“I guess-”  
“Yeeeeah!!” Again, probably too loud, but who cares? They were going to Disneyland, baby! 

Yamato eventually admitted he’d never been to Disneyland which prompted Taichi into telling him all about it. Space Mountain, the characters, the Mickey Mouse shaped burgers, the garden that had been designed to look like Stitch a few years back. In the end, they agreed to go during the next school holidays, just over a month away. Taichi paid for the bill, despite Yamato’s protests and refused to accept the boys umbrella in return.  

Despite the Disneyland victory, when the boy had blushed and gotten flustered with how he’d been treated, Taichi felt that he seemed to have won a whole lot more.  

\---

 “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  
“Disneyland! Taichi is seriously awesome!”  
“I’m not going.” 

The mood seemed to disappear instantly. Takeru stood off to the side of the room, a glare on his face and arms crossed stubbornly. Yamato seemed to falter. He didn’t understand. Hadn’t his brother always tried to get them to go out as a family more? Wasn’t he frustrated that they couldn’t due to lack of money? Why was it now, when Taichi had generously offered to pay for all of Hikari’s fees plus hire them a bus for the day, that the boy was complaining? 

“Takeru?”  
“I’m not going.”  
“Why not? Don’t you want to go to Disneyland?”  
“Who cares? It’s a stupid park. I get more than my daily dose of stupid here, thanks.” Ken started to say something in protest while Daisuke yelled an insult at the younger blonde. 

“He’s jealous.” All eyes turned to Miyako, who was sharing an arm chair with Iori. Rolling her eyes as she realised everyone else had been oblivious, she explained in further detail. “Yamato is focusing too much on other people, rather than the brother he’s spoiled rotten for so long. Takeru is offended that his idea has only been accepted when someone else suggested it. That’s completely stupid though because Taichi’s actually doing something to help, whereas Takeru just sits around and moans and demands the world of Yamato.” 

Hikari may or may not have been interested in Takeru romantically, but she was always one to stand up against the older girl. “What do you know about family anyway? You’ve never given a thought to what anyone else thinks! It’s always me, me, me, me, me!” 

“This again? Seriously? But whatever. Family is what you make of it. I think plenty of what others think. Why do you think I have a part time job? As thanks and help to Yamato. Why do you think I do other’s chores when they forget or are too lazy? To help out. And that last part? Well, dear Hikari, I think if you look in the mirror long enough, you’ll figure out you were just describing yourself.” 

Hikari started to yell again, but Yamato silenced her with an incredibly loud “SHUT UP!”. Everyone stopped and stared. Yamato had only been this mad at them once before. It had been one of those days where everything had gone wrong. Yamato had been sick, Iori had been beaten up, Miyako and Hikari were sniping at each other over the fact Miyako was found behind a school building snogging some older guy, Daisuke had gotten detention, Takeru had failed a test and Ken had kicked a soccer ball through the window. But even that seemed to pale in comparison to the blonde’s current rage. 

“Taichi has kindly offered to take us to Disneyland. If you don’t want to come, you can stay here. For once, I am doing this not just for you, but for me. I don’t regret taking any of you in, but I also have a life to lead and not everything I do needs to revolve around what _you_ want. Come or not, I don’t care. Do what you want.”  

Those few short sentences and he was gone. Ken watched him go to his room, slamming the door behind him, and decided to follow him. Everyone in the lounge had drifted to do their own thing in the incredibly awkward and silent aftermath. It was worse that he hadn’t yelled a lot. Rather than making them feel as though he was mad at them (which no doubt he was), Yamato had made them feel as though they had disappointed him, like he deserved better and he knew they could be better. Right on the spot again. 

The bluenette sighed as he knocked on the door quietly. He entered even though Yamato hadn’t responded. Ken was always the first to come and apologise. It was just how things worked. Stepping into the dark room, he saw the young man sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on knees and head in hands. The room felt cold. 

Sitting down next to him, Ken placed his head on Yamato’s shoulder. “Takeru will come around.” The muffled “I know” was the only response he got. 

“Yamato? Whats wrong? Can I do anything?”

Yamato made a strange noise. Ken couldn’t tell if he was trying to stop himself from laughing or crying. “Not unless you win the lottery Ken.”

This was strange. Usually the man had no problem telling him what was wrong. Granted those problems were usually small and insignificant in the long run but-

“I have cancer.”

“Oh.” 

If it were possible, the room felt even colder than when he entered it, and he didn’t think it was just due to the tears that were running down both their cheeks.

 


	10. The Desire To Be Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning - dark thoughts, suicidal actions.  
> Additionally, I base illnesses on real ones - I don't know if I've explained them properly as I already have background knowledge. If you are confused, let me know.

_I like to pretend. I like to pretend that I’m popular, that I am cool and have friends. I like to pretend that I am pretty and smart and good at painting. I like to pretend to be everything I’m not. I like to pretend that I’m normal._  

 _While I was blessed with decent enough acting skills to get around most of it, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a freak. I hear voices. “Oh, auditory hallucinations” you say as you brush it off. “Just go get some meds and see a psych.” If only it were that simple._  

 _I have seen a psychologist, a psychiatrist, psychics, spiritualists, hypnotists, any profession revolving around spirits or the mind and I’ve seen them and they’ve all failed. There is more than one voice - some have been with me for years while some come and go. A lot of people think I’m crazy because I respond to them - I think I would have been a lot worse had I not responded._  

 _By responding, I have some sort of control. I can discuss things and request for them to leave me alone during in exams. I have someone to talk to when I feel I’m drowning in a black sea. As much as the voices are bad for me, they keep me sane in a small way too._  

 _This is why I paint. To release some of “them”. While I don’t disassociate, I do occasionally “pick up” the voices, absorb a bit of them into me, if you will. Its times like this when I get worried - how do I know who “me” is if “I” constantly absorb “others”? Is this simply how my mind processes growing as a person, or are they really there and I take in something foreign? How am I supposed to stop this?_  

 _Do I really want to?_  

 _I’m not going to lie, it is nice to be the freak on occasions. I don’t have to do group work with anyone and I can pretend to be sick. Of course, I often am sick, quite badly so but on other occasions, I can fake a headache or worse, getting out of chores and school. I can insult people and say it wasn’t “me” - is this a lie, considering I’m still not how the process works? I want this to be over, so eventually I can sort myself out - I’ll know who I am without influences from voices. But if I were truly a good person, wouldn’t I be trying to do that now anyway?_  

 _Perfection is a tad overrated, don’t you think? When I was younger, Tai always strove to be perfect. His grades were pretty useless, even back then, but he was always the bright happy kid who helped his parents, looks after his sister and was great at sports. I left home at twelve - snuck out while everyone was out. Cowardly. But the rest of my family was normal, happy even, and I was very quickly falling down into the darkness._  

 _When I was little, I fell incredibly ill. I don’t remember much - I was rushed to hospital and I just remember needles and cold grey walls. My parents started bickering after that - they still loved each other, of course, but paying for my medications and wondering how to look after me made them stressed. Being so young and sick, I didn’t understand any of that. My first voice was a coping mechanism - she was an imaginary friend, a cat with bright blue eyes and white sleek fur, sent to help me grow and not be so scared._  

 _Its normal for kids to have imaginary friends - my parents didn’t worry about it too much, thinking I’d grow out of speaking to them eventually. But when Tai went to summer camp, our problems grew. It was like the voices exploded. After he returned, they calmed - but for most of that time, I was sick with fever. Once I healed, the original voice helped me sort them out. These voices have always been constant - they have brought me the most sadness but the most happiness too._  

 _In the end, I categorised them. “Non-Digital” weren’t important - they babbled about nonsense so I tuned them out like you do when the televisions advertising useless products. Then there was “Colour Digital”, the good and positive ones who helped me keep myself grounded, the ones who realised they made me stressed so tried to help. The “Dark Digital” voices are the trouble._  

 _The Darks are what I fight, the ones that tell me how pathetic I am, how much better everyone would be without me here. The Darks are depressions, anxiety and all of those illnesses rolled into one. They’re also the ones I have to talk to, in order to help the Colours. I know if anyone reads this, they’ll get to here and think I’m mental. Do as you please. If I can’t beat them, I might as well join the ones who care for me. Sometimes I wonder, if the Colours can beat the Darks, my voices will be gone forever. Its just a gut instinct, but for now, its the only bit of hope I’ve got, so I’m sticking with it._  

_Pushing my fears on me, the Darks give me panic attacks and make me hallucinate. The Colours try to balance them out - reducing the effects or negating them when possible. But they aren’t invincible either. On more than one occasion, I’ve been without their help - I’ve felt like I was drowning in a dark ocean full of fear and despair, that there was no hope left for anything. I’ll never say this aloud, but Miyako snapped me out of it. Apparently I was staring out her because I “zoned out” - she punched me and brought me back to reality. I’ll never say how thankful I am for that._

  _For a year after I left home, I struggled by myself. I’m glad I left - I doubt I would have gotten as far as I had if I’d been at home. I doubt my family would have been able to handle me the way my new one does either. It was tough though, being by myself and finding shelter all the time. Of course, people will willingly help out a young girl (though I had to learn quickly who was a creeper and not to be trusted). However, I went through people incredibly quickly - as soon as I got sick, or started talking to “myself”, I was out on the street. Fair enough, I suppose. I guess I’m so used to it that the abnormality of my life doesn’t phase me now._  

 _Eventually I made my way to the centre. Eventually, Yamato took us in and we had our own home. Sometimes I wonder what happened to the others, but since I’m not entirely honest with them, I can’t expect them to be the same with me, can I?_  

 _But despite the fact they’ve been here for years, I’m not happy with them. I want them gone. But I have no idea how - and if no professional can even tell me what they are, how are they supposed to help with anything else? I wish I could meet them rather than just speak to them. I know they’re out there somewhere. Real? Of course they are. More than just in my head, I believe they have a physical body somewhere. The reason they communicate via their mind speech is they know we will never be able to meet in person - perhaps they live on a different spiritual plain?_  

 _I often hear them say strange things. They mention “evolving” and “crests”, a place called “File Island” which is somewhere in the “Digital World”. As of yet, I still don’t understand. Maybe I will eventually, maybe I won’t. Maybe I am just crazy and hallucinating, but it feels so much more tangible than that. Can hallucinations even be the same, or have the same threads connecting them, each time? I suppose thats the point of this journal - to write and record and analyse myself and hopefully free myself. Maybe then, one day, I won’t have to pretend as much anymore._  

 _. ._  

Thinking of about the past was at the top of Ken’s most hated activities list. Up until a few years ago, when he met Takeru and the others, the past had been horrible. He wasn’t the type of person to forget what had already happened, but he also wouldn’t let it consume him. Ken wanted to move forward, learn from his mistakes and make himself better - that couldn’t be done if you were constantly living in a different time.  

But sometimes, he wasn’t in control. Sometimes, his mind was filled by a snide clear voice, whispering about when he hurt people and how he should have done more, how people deserved the cruelty, how he deserved it too. Sometimes, he was forced to see things he didn’t want to revisit, things that made him cry and scream, ripping open the scar tissue around his heart and leaving a fresh wound to bleed and ooze grossly.   

From the ground, he’d watch his brother’s body roll mid-air, listen to the thunk of Osamu’s body being hit, the thud as it hit the earth again. He’d listen to his laugh, thinking his brother had just performed another one of his magic tricks. He’d listen to the screeches of witnesses and the man who had hit him before watching him crumple to the ground in hysterics, apologising to the gods and anyone who would listen. He’d feel the tears on his cheeks and watch the sirens approach and then zoom off, taking a cold body with them.  

Ken would watch his parents insult him, hit him, starve him. Watch when class mates called him a murdered and refused to sit near him, treating him like he was diseased scum. He’d watch his apartment burn, flames licking the walls like serpent’s tongues. He’d listen to his parents screams as the pleaded and apologised, begged for forgiveness. Hear the Kaiser’s laugh in response.  

Over and over and over again. Whenever things were going right, he’d return. Whenever things were becoming normal, a few memories and comments and Ken would be in the corner, trying to keep his battles to himself and his lunch in his stomach. How was he supposed to fight this? From the help he’d tried to access, Ken had found it was something like a different personality - dissociative identity disorder. Of course, the Kaiser wasn’t too keen on him getting help - how was he to have his fun if Ken realised how to beat him, to remove him entirely?  

All he wanted to do was to be free. To not have the constant anxiety and panic so close to the surface. To not be so frightened and unwilling to be around those who didn’t know him. To feel normal rather than so frightened he would suddenly snap and beat or kill someone. Romance novels often made a big deal of the partners knowing each other “down to each fault, each blemish, down to the very core” - he could tell you that was not something lovely. It was traumatising. Having someone know you so fully that they could send you fleeing or into a rage with a few well chosen words…  

Cringing, Ken slumped to the floor as the Kaiser laughed, cruel sounds echoing through his head. ( _Make the noise stop! Please, just stop it already!)_ Car, hits, screams, flames, running always running. Tears, bruises, sirens, funerals and wounds, _you’re a bad person, horrible, if you weren’t so weak, your parents wouldn’t be dead, now would they Ken?_  

It was a Saturday morning - everyone was out with friends or at club activities. Yamato was at work, or something. Lately, he hadn’t been able to concentrate. It was attack after attack and when there was “peace”, he was constantly trembling, wondering when the next would start, futilely attempting to create a shield around his mind. 

 _Pathetic. You know you’ll never win. I’m far stronger. That’s what you get when you lose yourself, Ken - you can do whatever you please. Unlike you; you think about others too much, yourself too much, appearances too much. Always thinking, always trying to please others. But times run out Ken. If you aren’t going to put your body to good use, I’ll change you. You’ll go from mouse to king. (No no no no no no -) Don’t tell me you want me gone? How cruel! You’ve gone and hurt my feelings. (Leave me alone please just please leave me be no more no-)_  

_Would you stop whining? Just give up already. You can’t escape your destiny - give into it with grace rather than prolonging the inevitable. (Can’t lose won’t lose-) The only way you won’t lose is to kill yourself - but can you really call that a win?_

  _(It it isn’t a win for you, it’s a win for me and thats all that matters)_  

Heaving, he pulled himself up and dragged himself along. Panting heavily, he staggered and stumbled, knocking into corners and almost tripping on the coffee table. Almost to the kitchen, almost to freedom. It wasn’t what he wanted to do, but he had to. He couldn’t do this, not forever. If it was the only way, it was better now than never, right?  

It seemed surreal. His mind was so clear, he was able to think properly. There was no fear, just determination. The Kaiser was screaming, yelling, threatening, abusing. It was like he had placed all his money on a single bet and he thought he was about to lose - but there were no more cards to play. Ken was going through with his bluff and there wasn’t a damn thing the voice could do. Perhaps it was because he was so determined and confident in his decision, perhaps the Kaiser was still in shock over the choice that had been made - whatever it was, it was his chance and he was going to take it. 

The draw opened with a clatter and the metal felt cool in his palm. When he ran it down his arm (down the road, not across it - thats what that horrible movie had said, right?) it didn’t go down straight. Despite the confidence he held within himself, his body apparently didn’t want to turn on itself. Too bad. Once, twice, three times. Make the last a little deeper. Rinse and repeat on the other side. Ignore the screaming in your head and the pounding in your ears. Ignore the tears on your face and how the room is spinning and blurring. Relish in the cold weapon in your hand, relish in how the world fades around you. Relish in the silence and be still. 


	11. A Bit of Wisdom

Soon enough, it was exam time and tensions were running high. Daisuke was furious that nobody seemed to care about Ken; hell even  _Ken_  didn't care about Ken! Yamato had talked to him in private and given him numbers for people who could help; Daisuke felt it wasn't enough, but really, what else could he do? Ken could only get rid of the Kaiser by himself. But sitll, to go so far as to try to take his own life… It just didn't sit well with him.

Ken's attitude made it worse. Its like he was.. Proud? Of the thick scars that covered his arms? He didn't seem to take too much trouble to think about  _him_ , how he'd found Ken cold and in a pool of blood, clothes wet and breathing shallow. Didn't think about how Yamato had sprinted into emergency, out of breath, demanding and panicked and how the two had sat side by side, a deathly grip on the other's hands. How Miyako had snuck into the waiting room, silent, cold stare in place, only to leave with a small smile when she found out Ken was okay (Daisuke, on the other hand, collapsed bawling while Yamato fell back into his chair, limp and exhausted).

"Daisuke." Speak of the devil. "Ken's okay now."  
"No he isn't! He's-"  
"Daisuke."  _Oh._ This was 'shut up and listen time'. Okay then.  
"Ken isn't proud of what he did. He's sorry for putting everyone through the stress, sorry for resorting to that, sorry for not getting help sooner. However, he's proud that he hasn't heard from the Kaiser since - its been a little over two months, which is the longest he's been without him. Ken knows he probably can't and or won't go that far again, but the fact he took his health into his own hands, even if it meant ruining his health, thats what he's proud of. Do you get that?"  
"I… well, not really, but a little.. Maybe?" Yamato laughed, ruffling his hair.

"Need me to break it down some more, kid?"  
"Pfft! As if!"  
Smiling, Yamato continued. "The thing is, Daisuke, Ken is getting stronger. He's starting to beat the Kaiser at his own games. But he's reckless - a partial victory is better than none at all."  
"That I get."  
"Probably because you're stubborn that way too. But its because of that you need to watch him, okay?"  
"Why me?"  
"Because you're close. And because you're the same type of stubborn as Ken is. Ken will take any victory of none; but that doesn't go with your desire to have a friend who's  _alive_. Hopefully, between the two of you, you can help him find a balance. Hopefully, you can help him become strong without having to resort to that."  
"Why can't you do it?"  
His smile was slightly sad this time. "I wish I could. I feel horrible for leaving it all to you. I feel like I'm burdening you beyond your years. But if I don't work, we don't eat. I'm going to keep talking to Ken, and encourage him to talk to Jyou but honestly, I can't do much else. And I'm so, so  _so_ sorry for that."

Daisuke snorted. "Don't be sorry. I doubt any of us would be as happy as we are without you." Daisuke wished he could make Yamato feel better, to make him understand he did mean his words, how grateful he was, but at the same time, he could tell Yamato was again, too busy for niceties. The words were light, but the circumstances, both of Ken and their financial ones, left a bad taste in both their mouths, while worry filled their stomachs like lead.

. .

"And I'm telling you that you're WRONG!"  
"What would you know anyway? You're too busy chasing her skirt to actually get to know her!"

_What a low blow. Half true at least._ Iori was sitting at their kitchen table, thinking it'd be a nice quiet, spacious area to study. Obviously not. In the lounge, Takeru and Daisuke were fighting about Hikari, who was in her room. She'd still be able to hear everything though - if they'd been speaking like polite human beings, she wouldn't have heard a thing, but when they were screaming like monkeys at each other, it was inevitable.

What they were actually fighting about was beyond him. Yes, it was Hikari, but why the need to scream and rage? She was human, nothing special in the grand scheme of things. On a teenage boy level, yes, she was pretty and smart, didn't mind breaking the rules on occasion and was talented in a few different fields: good girlfriend material. But he wasn't sure thats what they were talking about. Maybe just who she liked, as a friend more?

He sighed, listening to the two continuing to yell.  _This is why I keep my mouth shut_. Iori wasn't actually mute, though most people didn't know better and he didn't feel the need to inform them. It made relationships difficult, but if people cared about you enough, they were happy to cross some obstacles. Yamato, Jyou and Miyako all knew sign language (Miyako said she only learnt because there was a hot guy in her class who couldn't speak, but he knew better - he also knew she could call him out on a lot of things he did, so he wouldn't go around and do the same to her). Daisuke honestly wasn't that patient, but he was happy to read Iori's letters or wait for him to rearrange the colourful letters on the fridge (Iori snorted to himself; go figure the one with the small attention span was happy to wait for bright colours).

School honestly wasn't a problem. Kendo was a great club to be in; silence meant that he gave nothing away and people were happy to accept him and even invite him places, regardless of the fact they couldn't speak.  _Actions speak louder than words. Friendship is more than just gossiping with one another._ He got to work by himself rather than have to associate with people he didn't care for (and who treated him like an idiot because he "couldn't" speak) and there was no need to worry about the nerves that came with public speaking. In all honesty, he felt a little bad for lying to everyone, to tricking them, or, in his "family's" case, making them learn sign when they really didn't need to. At the same time, he wasn't quite ready to crawl out of his shell yet. Family was supposed to understand those types of things, right? Would everyone be mad at him? Or would they understand his way of coping, especially after all the things they've been through themselves?

The front door slammed and the two in the lounge stopped bickering for a moment. Miyako stomped past, snapping at them before heading to her room, leaving the duo to start again, though admittedly, with a bit less fire.  _Please don't let Miyako and Hikari start now. I just want to study quietly…_  Now he thought of it, Takeru and Daisuke were probably doing the same as he was; (not so) patiently waiting to see if the two girls would start ripping at each other's throats. But nothing came, the boys went their separate ways and Iori went back to his studying, half of his mind on Miyako.

Jyou had asked if he had a crush on her once. He hadn't been able to speak, too shocked at hearing something so ridiculous, but Jyou understood his expression and laughed. Miyako was like the sister he'd never had. Strong and out spoken, always speaking, she made sure nobody messed with him, but never forgot he could handle himself, never forgot that even though it wasn't a voice you could hear, he still had a voice. She worried over him, so he would worry over her.

He didn't need to wonder where she'd just come from. She had a boyfriend, a good two or three years older than her at least. She knew he disapproved, but she didn't really care. He wondered if it was a natural teenage thing, or if she just needed freedom and excitement, rather than always having to be the one to step into Yamato's shoes whenever he wasn't around. She was far too old for her age, but he wondered if that wasn't true for all of them. They hadn't lived nice, simple lives like most kids their ages. They'd dealt with more than what most adults had to in their whole lifetimes.

But despite that, they were still kids. And sometimes, it truly made him sad that they didn't seem to act like it. He remembered days where he used to go to the playground with his father, or walk on the beach side with his grandfather.  _Back then, things were simpler. We didn't have to deal with life. But it isn't something you can run away from. But embracing it, attacking it so forwardly… by doing that, have we lost the feelings of being able to relax? Of being able to be genuinely happy?_ He couldn't help but feel some type of sadness about that. Not a typical sadness, it was more than that; its the sad you feel when you know you could have something great, something wonderful, but because of someone else's actions, you can't. And theres a bit of hopelessness too, that you'll never get that something back.


	12. A Day Out

Takeru glowered angrily, watching Ken's back as he went to Yamato's room. Yamato had snapped at them for doing something stupid and stormed off. Ken had made some suck up comment and Takeru snapped at him. Ken didn't bother responding, instead slinking off Yamato.

"I hate him! Why does he always go suck up to onii-chan after we fight? Just who does he think he is?!"

He sounded selfish, he knew it. He also didn't particularly care. Weren't siblings supposed to take each other's sides, back each other up? He felt like all he and Yamato did were fight and Yamato would cave just so he didn't have to deal with him… He wanted to go home and forget everything. To forget the other kids and just have his family in one piece again (well, two halves of one piece, but at least somewhat together). Takeru was jealous. He wouldn't lie about that anymore. He'd try not to act out anymore, and even though he knew Yamato was being reasonable, logical, when he choose someone else's 'side', it stung and he hated it.

"You guys just don't get it! He's  _my_ brother, not yours! He's supposed to… not agree with me, all the time but.. At least treat my feelings as valid, to take notice of me! Oh yes,  _you're_ all here, but I might as well be alone!"

Both Daisuke and Miyako glared at the boy as Hikari agreed. If the household were to be divided, it was always Daisuke and Miyako against Takeru and Hikari. Ken had more in common with Daisuke but felt he owed Takeru so he was a bit of a wild card. Takeru usually never spoke out against Ken though. Iori was mute, so was treated as mutual.

Needless to say, it shocked everyone when the boy spoke.

"Honestly, Yamato should be feeling like that. I'm not removing your feelings, but he has no friends, no life except for work and brats who don't even do what they're told. I sort of agree with you. Ken is Ken. To be honest, I hate him too. Only because of the Kaiser. How do we know it exists and Ken isn't just a smooth talker, waiting and plotting?" The other four sat in a stunned silence, only broken by Miyako's large grin and joyful "Iori!".

He continued on as if nothing were out of the ordinary. "But that isn't the problem." He turned to glare at Takeru. "You are." He ignored the boy as he started to splutter out defences. "Don't deny it. You play Yamato like an instrument. He does everything for you, for all of us, and you don't even have the decency to let him do something for himself? Have you not noticed he's sick?"

. .

The next month and a bit waded by slowly. Takeru had apologised, grudgingly and Yamato had done the same. Iori would only speak if absolutely necessary (usually to stop fights) but most of the time, he simply ignored everyone around him. He and Miyako spoke occasionally, or he typed to her more often. Why did it matter if he was silent? People shouldn't discount him because he didn't feel it was necessary to speak. And really, what good would speaking do him? He was small, smart and soft spoken naturally - the perfect material for bullies. If he kept quiet and if it looked like he was ill, any 'decent' bullies, if there were such a thing, would leave him alone, in peace. Everyone was still coming to terms with the fact the boy had never been actually mute, but rather didn't like to speak, which Yamato had always known.

Ken had apologised to Takeru, telling him he didn't know him going to Yamato had always upset him so much. He was met with a grudging acceptance - Takeru had began to think Iori was right and he did play people, if somewhat unconsciously, so by rejecting Ken, he felt as though was admitting the other boy was right and nobody else could share his brother. He didn't do it on purpose and was pulling himself up if he was about to give a smart remark, so what else could anyone ask for? Hikari and Miyako still hadn't apologised (but nobody ever even entertained the thought of them being friendly).

Nobody spoke of Yamato's illness.

Miyako had told Ken, thinking he didn't know. He didn't bother to correct her. He wasn't sure if it was meant to stay a secret, if Yamato had actually meant to tell him or if it was just a slip of the tongue, but it wasn't his business to tell anyone the truth. It was Yamato's illness, Yamato's responsibility, Yamato's burden. It made him feel a bit selfish to keep the secret to himself (shouldn't Takeru at least know?) but its not like he knew much more and what else could they do? They behaved more properly, and tried to do more than they were told, to relieve some of his stress. Regardless, everyone was walking on eggshells, though Yamato didn't seem to notice.

Yamato spent most of the time working still, though he was home a lot more often. Nobody said they knew about him being sick and he didn't tell them anything, but there was always an underlying taste in the atmosphere of a secret that was supposed to be hidden, but since everyone knew, it became taboo. The blonde said he worked more at night as his day job had laid off staff so he wasn't needed as much. Iori instantly knew there was something wrong with the statement but hadn't questioned it. Yamato had saved him and protected him. The blonde had never failed any of them. It was not his place to question the man.

Though he did have to question Taichi. On the day they were destined to depart to the amusement park, a bus full of people rolled up out front of their house. Yamato had seemed confused but then Taichi bounded out of the bus, all smiles and energy, just as he had been when he stayed for dinner that one time.

"Um, Taichi? Wasn't it supposed to be just us?" ' _Just us'? Well isn't that an interesting way of putting things, Yamato?  
_ "Hey, I told you one of my friends, Sora, was still up in arms about the whole thing right? My friends meet your kids! Perfect, right?"  _Kids? Just who does he think he's talking about?_

"You never mentioned they'd be coming today..."

"Ah, didn't I?" The brunette scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. "My bad? But anyways, lets get going, yeah? It's a bit of a drive! Come on kids, lets go, lets go!"

Shuffled onto the bus, they tried to sit near each other, though it seemed impossible.  _What's the bet he made his friends sit all over the place like this so we would have to socialise?_  Iori had no idea if that was the case or not. At this hour of the morning, he didn't feel like socialising, so he made a beeline towards Jyou. The man would probably let him sleep for the ride anyway.

"Iori! How are you? Well?" Iori simply nodded. He could have responded with sign language but at this hour of the morning, he was too tired to care about being polite.  _No sleep it seems._ The shorter man in front of Jyou was called Koushirou. Mimi sat next to him and Miyako sat across from her. Takeru sat next to her and Daisuke and a girl called Sora sat up the back. Yamato sat behind Taichi, who was quite happily babbling away to the still drowsy blonde.

The park was just opening as they arrived (though honestly, with Taichi driving, he was surprised they actually made it in one piece). By the time Yamato had given them the usual 'walk in pairs, behave and do as your told' speech, a good majority of the crowd had already entered the gates and the kids were rearing to go.

For the most part, they all went on the same rides. Apart from the fact it was easier to keep everyone together that way, Taichi's friends stuck with him and he stuck with Hikari who stuck with her 'family'. Plus, it meant they only needed to buy one lot of photos instead of each seperate group's specific photos.

Jyou had to have a break after lunch - Space Mountain had really taken it out of him. The poor guy was looking worse for wear and his skin was tinged slightly green. Iori decided to sit next to him while the rest went on Big Thunder Mountain.

"Jyou-san?"  
"Yamato had called me to inform me that you were speaking. He wasn't quite sure what to do."  
"Ah. I didn't mean to worry him."  
"He's fine. Just not sure of why you suddenly decided to speak."  
"Takeru."

"Oh dear." The man sighed and brushed his bangs back with a shaky hand. "How are they going?"  
"Takeru still pesters him. Wants to go home. Yamato indulges him more than he deserves."  
"Thought so. Has he ever wondered what will happen to you lot?"  
"Why would that matter to him? He has a home to go to."

"What if their parents don't want them back?" Iori stared at him, shocked. That wasn't something Jyou would usually say. "I doubt it would happen, but they've been gone quite a while. Takeru had no real reason to leave. If anything, he became the petulant teenager Yamato believed himself to be. Well, that's what I got from talking with him at least; I didn't really speak to him much but listening to Yamato now, thats what I understand."

Iori sat in a companionable silence with the man. He had some good points. And really, what if Yamato did cave and take Takeru and go? What would happen to the rest of them? Hikari had a family, but he didn't... His father had been killed when he was on duty as a policeman. He saved a family from a murderer or something honourable like that. He was far too young to remember and he only felt warm when he thought of his father, so the thought of looking up tragic news articles didn't appeal to him in the slightest. After that, his mother had to turn to prostitution to feed them. She'd met a client at a club, only for the place to burn down while she was still in it. His grandfather had died of a heart attack a few weeks later - a combination of being poor, heartbreak and old age. Iori was left alone.

He'd become mute from the shock. People had fussed over him after his father's death, never letting him be. Then when his mother left, his heart had only just been healing before it was shattered again. He wasn't over her death, was barely 'waking up' to reality again when his grandfather left.  _How are you? Do you need anything? Do you have any other relatives? Poor thing. Just talk to me, let me help you!_ It'd all been too much. All he'd wanted to do was  _grieve in peace_. He'd been young and hadn't known how to express his emotions. Suppression was the next best thing. What else was he to do? He was a charity case and people didn't know what to do with him, how to treat him. Was it too much to ask to be treated as  _normal_? Yes, he'd been through some pretty hard stuff, but he was a normal kid still. Separating him and making him the odd one out, even though it was done in an attempt to help… isolation hadn't been fun. It wasn't until he'd finally been shuffled to the centre and met Yamato that he felt he could cry. The blonde's words had been short and simple, but they'd made an impact (yet to this day, Iori still couldn't remember what the older man had said). Perhaps it wasn't what he'd said, but how he'd said it. The smile and the hug were still as clear and vibrant in his head as the day it'd happened.

"That won't happen. Yamato's too kind for that. At most, he'd take Takeru back home before coming back for the rest of us. He's... A friend. Whether you like it or not, he'll be there for you. Always."

Jyou smiled and started waving as the others came running towards them. "You know, you're completely right, Iori."

. .

"Weeeeeeell?"  
"Well what?" Sora hated to admit it, but this little bugger Daisuke was actually growing on her.  
"Tell me about yourself!"  
"You first, brat."

"You asked for it!" She snorted, expecting something stupid. His condensed life story wasn't what she'd wanted but technically, it had been what she'd asked.

"Motomiya Daisuke. My older sister Jun ran away from home ages ago so my parents expected me to be just as perfect as she had been. Eventually I got sick of it and ran away. I ended up on the streets, then jail, then Yamato saved me. I followed him back to the centre and have lived mostly happily after ever since!"

"Mostly?"

"I don't like Takeru." The boy turned towards them, having heard his name being said and was met with Daisuke pulling a face to which he rolled his eyes at. "He's a brat and doesn't treat Yamato like he deserves."

"You really care about Yamato, don't you?"

" _Duh!_ He's awesome! He's so cool, plus he's really fast and strong and a great cook! He always looks after us. He's the best brother ever!" She couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm and adoration of the blonde.

"Well? Come on! You said you'd tell me about yourself!"

Sighing, she began. "Takenouchi Sora. My dad left years ago for 'work', but he hasn't returned since. Liar. But anyway, I work with my mum at her flower shop. Totally not what I want to do-"

"Why hasn't your father come back? Why don't you want to work at a flower shop?"  
"Why would I know? He's a lying jerk and that's all I know. Flowers are stupid. I'd rather do something useful, which is what I'm doing-"  
"What are you doing then?"

"If you'd stop interrupting, I'd tell you!" He grinned sheepishly, but let her continue. "I go to university. I'm studying to become a teacher. I'm thinking younger kids-"  
"Corruption of the next generation! I love it!"

Sora sighed but couldn't help a small smile. The kid was quirky and, perhaps with the age difference it was slightly inappropriate to say, but damn was he cute!

. .

"You know Yamato is in love with him, right?"  
"I'm so glad you picked it up! We're gonna have to get them together!"

Koushirou sighed. Letting Miyako and Mimi pair up had only doubled his troubles and worries. He couldn't help but feel for Yamato and Taichi. Poor unsuspecting guys...

"How do we do it?"  
"Well, first, tell me a bit about Yamato. He's a bit of an enigma, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, he doesn't really get to do much. He's far too busy working and looking after us. We don't have much money to do stuff, so his life is pretty monotonous."  
"Monotonous? Seriously girl, how old are you?" They both laughed and Koushirou sighed again.  _Girls_.

"But seriously, he  _loves_  music. He has a guitar and he was really good at playing!"  
"Was?"  
"Yeah, hasn't played in years. Weren't you just listening to me? But apart from that, he likes to cook... But in saying that, he cooks when he's mad and sad too..."

"Dates?"  
"Two in the entire time I've known him. He said it was too much trouble and not worth his time."  
"Commitment issues?"  
This time the purple haired girl stopped before she spoke. "I don't think so. Perhaps not Mr Right. Or perhaps they were just dicks. Nah, that's not it! He doesn't speak about himself much, but he always gives people a chance. They were obviously decent enough and stubborn enough to convince him to go out with them in the first place."

"Okay! I'm gonna give you my number and we'll talk more later. First things first though. You need to find out what Yamato's looking for and I'll figure out what Taichi's looking for. Kay?"  
"Yes ma'am!"

Sighing once more, Koushirou decided to intercept before things snowballed and got out of hand. "Are either of them actually even gay?"

"Yamato is definately. Bi at the very least. He's more of the type to say he's into the personality regardless."  
"Taichi is different around him, Kou. Not quite gentler, but... More, oh I don't know. True? Whenever he's been with girls in the past, he's treated them like glass. Not that that's bad, but the relationship can't go anywhere, because he isn't willing to take risks."

"So Tai's treating Yamato like a friend so you automatically assume-"

"Not done yet dear!" She flashed him a smile and he couldn't help but smile back. "He's somewhere in between friend and lover. Yamato makes him balance those two out and really, isn't your lover supposed to be your best friend? It's finally the right balance he has now!"

"You reckon it'll work?"

"If you help us be less crazy and intimidating on those poor two boys, it might just work!"

Groaning this time, Koushirou knew he shouldn't have opened his mouth!

. .

The ride home was quiet. The kids had been exhausted by the end of the day. They'd been there at opening and hadn't left until closing time (Taichi and Mimi had demanded that they had to stay for the fireworks). As they struggled out of Disneyland with full bellies and even fuller arms, the yawns and complaints of sore feet had started. It had only taken about ten minutes for them to all fall asleep, with some of Tai's friends following soon after.

Yamato had sat behind Jyou this time. Taichi had been one of the first asleep once he'd handed the keys over. Jyou, being the reasonable and responsible man he was, had offered to drive before the sleepy brunette killed them all. It had been a while since he'd seen the blue haired man and he regretted not keeping in touch. Jyou had already forgiven him - the older man knew he simply didn't have the time for anything anymore.

"Iori's worried about you. He thinks Takeru may make you leave." Jyou knew that wasn't true but Yamato didn't. He needed to fully figure out what the blonde thought before he could give any advice.

"I won't leave them. I'll take Takeru home if he keeps it up. I know he wants me just to be his brother, but I can't do that anymore. I'm everyone else's brother too now. There's no reason why he can't get along with the others. He's just still trying to figure out a lot of things. Being a teenager is hard at the best of times. Me leaving didn't help him mature and him having to compete for my attentions is making him wonder about his identity as my brother. He's confused. He's getting better though. He just needs time to step back and look at things properly."

 _And there it is. The excuse for his brother's behaviour. So typical, Yamato._ "What if he doesn't? What if he continues to be selfish?"

"I wouldn't say selfish..."

"Ken talked to me earlier. From what he and Iori said, Takeru is trying to keep you to himself. He refused to go to Disneyland simply because you didn't accept the idea when he said it. You had valid reasons but he refused to see them. You spoil and dote on him far too much Yamato."

The boy sighed, leaning his head back. "I know. Sometimes I think it's just better that I take him back to our parents. I wouldn't like to do it, but he just creates friction every which way. I've even packed my bag a few times. But how is that far to him now thats he's trying? So is it me who's being selfish then? Am I upsetting the others because I don't want to lose my family?"

"There isn't anything wrong with that. You've just got to choose the lesser of two evils, I suppose."  
"Why do your words always seem to confuse me more than help me figure things out?"

Jyou chuckled.  _This_  was Yamato. Slightly snarky but you could hear the smile in his voice. Jyou had a feeling that when this Yamato came to the front, rather than the tired, exhausted, confused Yamato who was currently in charge, things would be better. He'd be stronger and more confident, much like he used to be (and he probably could hold down a date if his fawned over devil-may-care attitude returned too).

"Sorry I'm not much use, buddy."

"You've been more help than you've ever given yourself credit for, Jyou." The words were soft and quite, but Jyou heard them as clear as day. That was another thing about Yamato. Whether it was harsh or not, he always knew what the right thing was to say. He never missed a beat, that boy.

They sat in a warm silence for a few moments before Yamato asked something that had been niggling at the back of his head for a while now. "Ken thinks the Kaiser is coming back, doesn't he."

"Yeah... He said they think the same thoughts. He still feels as though they are seperate entities, but he feels as though they may be growing closer together."  
"He's growing up. His views are going to change. That doesn't mean he'll become a murderer like the Kaiser."  
"That's what I told him. Reiterate it for me, will you? Ken's fragile enough as it is without this coming up."

Yamato made an 'mm-hmm' noise before changing the subject. "What about Iori?"  
"What about him?"  
"Why is he suddenly speaking? I've been trying for ages!"

"Yamato shush. People are trying to sleep!" Through the rearview mirror, Jyou saw those crystal eyes narrow and glare at him. Yamato's eyes were always so expressive, he was like an open book. "Anyway, Iori would always talk to you." Seeing the younger man attempt to say something, he cut him off before he could begin. "He'd sign to whoever was counselling, but he'd just repeat the same things, over and over. Our opinions didn't matter. We didn't matter. He didn't trust us. Iori always trusted you though."

"I'm nothing special though."

_And you'll probably never have any idea of how wrong you are, right Yamato?_


	13. Yamato

Miyako sighed and stretched her arms above her head as she left the store. She worked in a small convenience store, only ten minutes away from her school. It was a crap job filled with rushed and rude people and the pay wasn't anything to brag about, but it was better than nothing. Students at her school weren't allowed jobs, so the fact her school had let her bully them into allowing it was enough. She hadn't told Yamato but she suspected he knew; how could he not? Her pay wasn't huge, but it fed them, leaving him free to pour all of his money into the bills.

She worked about three days a week, for a good three or four hours each time. By the end of it her back was always sore and her feet felt like balloons from standing on them for so long. The walk home was only about half an hour, giving her plenty of time to figure out a lie to tell everyone and clear her head.

But today was different.  _I didn't know Yamato and Taichi were hanging out today…_ She sat on a bench, not appreciating the wind in the slightest, but pickers can't be choosers. So she sat in the cold for the next half an hour, watching Yamato and Taichi laugh away in the cafe across the road. Miyako couldn't hear anything, could only see from their elbows up, but still, she was fascinated.  _Yamato never smiles that much at home. I wonder, is it real? Or is he merely being polite?_ But the conversation never lulled and the smiles never waned. When the bill came around, Yamato only half heartedly protested when Taichi paid the entire lot.

They excited and even though she was in full view, in her obnoxiously coloured uniform, neither of them spotted her. Miyako quirked an eyebrow.  _Honestly, if they're that wrapped up in each other they might as well just get it on already._ Figuring she wouldn't get caught, she followed them. Eventually, they reached Taichi's car so she hung back. The duo hopped in and she watched them until they were out of sight. Still, Yamato hadn't stopped smiling. Nor had Taichi.

The wind didn't feel quite as bitter as she smiled. Walking home, she messaged Mimi with what she knew. She was almost at the front door when she realised she was still in her work clothes and had to sprint back to a public toilet to change. When she returned, she was panting, exhausted, but still smiling. Yamato questioned her about why she was late, but she just hugged him in response. He was confused, as was everyone else but honestly, Miyako was just glad he'd finally found someone. Would he and Taichi get together or just be friends? It honestly didn't matter - Yamato had someone he could  _talk_ to, someone to  _listen_  to. Yeah, he had his kids but having an adult to converse was completely different.

_I'm just glad you're happy, Yamato._

. .

"I don't get it! I swear you're making this shit up!" Grumbling, clearly irritated, Daisuke stormed out, leaving Iori to roll his eyes. If it had been someone else, he'd have taken those words personally. Daisuke just wasn't a sit still and pay attention type of person. It didn't give him the excuse to be abrasive and fed up with learning how to "speak Iori" as he put it, but if Iori was going to get petty over that when they had other mental issues and life issues to worry about, nothing was ever going to get done around here (doubly so because he  _could_  speak, so there was moot point in learning).

He felt bad for not speaking, even more so now that everyone knew he could. But he was sticking to his guns. After so long of using sign, it had become his preferred language. His speech was fine - perhaps not as good as other kids his age, but he wasn't a motor mouth and he was always destined to be the quiet kid in the corner, regardless of his past. If his so called family cared for him, they'd continue to deal with him - they all had their 'hang ups' and this was one of his. Moments later Daisuke came back with some pudding which left Iori smirking.

"Jerk." Knowing it would frustrate the brunette, Iori signed 'point proven' and got the desired result. Even if Daisuke didn't always remember how to interpret what he was saying, at least he could figure out what he wanted, which made up for it. Eventually, Daisuke left him alone again, going out to play soccer with Ken. Iori was glad for the silence (because even when Daisuke wasn't speaking, he wasn't exactly quiet, either inhaling food, tapping pencils, blasting music, laughing at comics - he could keep going for the rest of the day without running out of ideas).

At the same time, even though the noise annoyed him, he was greatful. His father died a hero's death when he was five, leaving his household quiet and sombre. His grandfather, despite his age, went out to search for another job to make sure they could survive. But how many businesses were willing to hire the elderly? Regardless, he kept trying. His mother worked as a receptionist during the day, while holding a less attractive job at night. Of course, being so young he didn't know what it was at the time, but after she died in a fire when meeting a client, people gossiped. Loudly. It wasn't until he was older did he fully understand that such a job was considered dirty and cheap - but she was a mother fighting to keep her family comfortable. Iori honestly was proud of her - she had probably felt incredibly degraded and hopeless, but she didn't give up, her love for her family kept her going.

But love was a killer, too. When she died, his grandfather didn't last much longer until he succumbed to a broken heart. He'd lost his wife, his other children didn't talk to him, he was only just getting over the death of his beloved son and now his wife, a wonderful daughter in law, had tragically died. At seven years old, he watched as his grandfather went from happy and determined until he became a shell of himself. Iori had no idea what to do, trying to cope as well as he could with his own emotions. Once his grandfather had passed, he was given to one of his aunts, a nice enough woman, but one who was far too busy to look after him properly, with four children and an obnoxious husband of her own. So an uncle decided to help her and took Iori off her hands. She was apologetic but thankful and Iori honestly couldn't blame her. Orphanages weren't a huge thing in Japan, and being the eldest child and the one with the most parenting skill's, he'd been burdened to her.

Occasionally, he wondered what would have happened if he'd had to stay with her. Signing wouldn't have been an option, due to the amount of people in the house and the lack of time everyone had. That was a bonus, as today, most of his classmates thought he was some geek who thought he was too cool for everyone else, leaving him open to insults and bullying. But nobody would have listened to him. His uncle had been proof of that. A single man who had won the lottery, so he had no need to work. Despite that, he didn't bother to ask Iori how he was.  _Were you able to cope with your father's death okay? Losing your mother must have been tough. When your grandpa died, how did you feel?_ Simple questions that should have been asked but never were.

But it turned out to be for the best. His uncle loved travelling. Their travels took him far away from any classroom, leaving him with no desire to talk to others his age or the social skills to even understand what children were supposed to like. Finding themselves in a small city on a stop over, Iori lost contact with his family. He was nine when the man went on a date with a social worker. Fool for him that he brought the woman back to their hotel - Misaki saw Iori and became curious (and annoyed that the man was more interested in sleeping around than sightseeing with his family). When his uncle failed to answer questions about his basic needs and feelings, and figured out Iori was refusing to talk, she snapped. He wasn't surprised though he was upset that it didn't take Misaki much to convince his uncle that she would take much better care of him.

She looked after him for a month, teaching him sign and got the occasional word out of him. She made sure he knew how to cook a few basic meals and made sure he caught up with his studies. They went to amusement parks and movies. She honestly felt more like family than the last two homes he'd been too. When she took him to her work, she asked if he would be okay by himself. For once, he didn't feel like he was being abandoned. The center was interesting. A volunteer center with facilities for both mental and physical ailments. The staff helped get needy people back on their feet. He was the youngest there by far and if Iori was honest, he didn't want to leave Misaki, but he understood he'd still see her daily so it lessened his nerves slightly (as much as everyone else understood  _if you touch this kid, you're dead_ ).

Yamato had been there for a year by then. It had taken less than an hour for Misaki to track him down and give him "custody" of Iori. It had taken less than a week for Iori to be clinging to Yamato, bawling his eyes out. Yamato didn't ask where he'd been or push him to tell his life story. All the older boy had wanted to know was if he was okay being away from home. He'd cried, saying he had no home, his family was dead, the rest of them had no time for him.

"Well, if thats the case, I'll be your home from now on."

It was an incredibly simple sentence, one said so casually too. Iori often wondered why Yamato had taken them all in - after all, he could have easily moved on and made something proper of his life, rather than be plagued with worry and working constantly for a bunch of people he wasn't related to. Perhaps he'd never quite know, but perhaps it didn't really matter. Without Yamato, he could safely say he wouldn't be as happy as he was now, and he assumed much the same for the others. Without Yamato, he certainly wouldn't have a family, and for that, he could never be more thankful.

. .

It was getting cold out. Night was falling but he didn't want to go home. Takeru sat on a bench, still in his uniform, looking down at the river, the dark, icy water swishing past quietly. He wondered if it was home. All he wanted was his family back together, even if they did live in different houses. As long as they were close (distance wise) and civil towards each other, acting like adults did, that was enough, wasn't it? That was home, right?  _But that isn't what Yamato wants._

Even though they were siblings, they had very different notions of what home meant. For him, it was family, close together. For Yamato, he honestly had no idea what it meant. As his younger brother, shouldn't he already know? Shouldn't this have been discussed properly? He knew Yamato didn't want to return and didn't have to either. Their mother had doted on the older son when she saw him, but never went out of her way to see him either, instead just believing he would babysit his adored younger brother when asked. And their father worked all day and night, so at home, it was just Yamato - he was used to being independent.

 _Why should he return? Theres nothing left for him._ An awkward relationship with his mother and a casual one with his father, the only way Yamato would benefit from returning to Odaiba would be the ease on his bank account, but then he'd be weighed down with a heavy guilt from abandoning the others.  _But isn't that my problem? Being abandoned?_ Takeru wasn't stupid, far from it. He adored Yamato and knew how hard he worked. He didn't like to think he was a bad person, but at the same time, his behaviour towards his brother said otherwise.  _But its a lot easier to tell someone how to behave properly than actually do so._

_When our parents split, he was my rock. He kept our family together, though it wasn't easy to see it back then. Mum worked during the day, so Yamato would amuse me, taking me to the beach, to the park, using his allowance to keep me happy. I guess our parents just assumed thats how an older sibling should act. Thanks to Yamato, I guess I never really knew the pain of divorce - yes, I saw my father less, but due to his workaholic nature, its not like I saw him much in the first place. Because of Yamato, our relationship still stayed strong, so things were relatively normal._

_When the accident happened, it was strange. I was with Yamato and then suddenly, I wasn't. I could see the sky and I felt like I was flying towards it. I flipped and I saw the road beneath, getting further away, Yamato already on the ground, the red car screeching to a halt. I don't remember hitting the ground. I can remember thinking vaguely,_ "Mum will get mad if she finds out we stopped holding hands for a second".

 _I fell into a coma. Apparently people in comas can hear things, or sense their surroundings. Maybe because I was so young, I can't remember doing that. Or maybe I've just blocked it out. Does it matter, either way? In any case, when I woke, Yamato was gone. I didn't know it at first though. I saw my mother and father, happy, next to each other, tears running down their faces. There were flowers and teddy bears around me and my favourite blanket was on top of me. How could things not be okay? I guess, in my happiness to see my parents_ happy  _and_ together  _I forgot about Yamato._

_Two days later, I was told he was gone. I assumed that meant he was at camp. A week later, I asked again. The smile from my parent's faces dropped, but a doctor saved them from saying anything. The bed next to me was free, so I had no need to worry about him - if he wasn't sick, of course he'd be out doing stuff. He'd probably just been visiting me when I was sleeping, right?_

_When I was told the truth, I cried. Not just silent tears, but huge, heaving, chest wracking sobs. I was still injured, so it hurt like hell, but all I could feel was my heart shattering. I'd been so convinced in the fact that my family was close to reuniting just to have it ripped out from under me. If he'd been older and just moved in a friend or something, I could understand it. Maybe. But we didn't know where he was. Was he fully healed? What about funds? We spoke to the police and got nothing. Mum ended up screaming at dad, saying it was his fault for being a workaholic and for taking interest in me when I was ill. He shot back, asking if she still wouldn't have bitched at him if he hadn't doted on me. It was a really low blow from her. We were all emotional. Like she said,_ "We'll never even know if he's dead!" _._

_So they went their separate ways again. This time, there was no big brother to soften the blow. I had to amuse myself, keep myself out of mum's way while she worked. It was difficult to talk to either of them, even years later. Dad still felt horrible guilty, like he really had chased Yamato away and split us all up. I never got more than a grunt or two out of him - I could have, if I tried more, but I don't think I could bear to see him cry. Mum was impatient, thinking Yamato should have known better. She was worried and you could always see she was insensitive to try and kill her own worry, but how did that help anyone?_

_I didn't ask for much. I just wanted someone to talk to. Someone_ real, _not one of those bullshit psychologists that only want your money. I knew I wasn't going to get the answers I wanted about why Yamato left or if he was okay, but I wanted to know my family still cared about me, about each other, that we were all willing to stand strong together. I couldn't handle my parents being so bitter and self absorbed. Its harsh, but they were adults - they had better tools to move on with, better coping mechanisms than I did as a child._

_I guess, in a sense, they abandoned me. Obviously not physically, but emotionally. And I couldn't deal with that forever, so I left. Of course, I just put them through more stress and did the same as Yamato. We both abandoned them. Yamato abandoned me in the opposite way - I don't doubt for a second he was constantly distraught and terrified about what had happened. I don't doubt that when, before the divorce, our parents would scream themselves hoarse and he'd come and play with me, keeping my mind innocent, that he was trying to desperately keep himself occupied to. He isn't strong emotionally, he tries his hardest but then he just.. Falls. Regardless, he'll pick himself up in time to save those he cares about, no matter how he feels._

_Its tacky and disgusting of me, but I can't let him leave me again. If I'm confused, he'll save me. If I'm sick, he has to save me, make me better again. If I'm angry, he'll have to make me feel better, make me smile. If I'm sad, he'll fix it. If I keep him hanging, he can't drop me. With Yamato, I want for nothing. I have a home, a family (albeit a makeshift one), food, an education, the ability to smile and laugh and tease and fight and_ grow _._

_Without Yamato, I'm alone. There's nobody there for me. Are people supposed to be alone? I honestly don't know. If we are, I don't want to be like that. I can't be like that. I'm clinging and needy and have abandonment issues, and I'm forcing a lot of things on him I shouldn't. I'm trying not to, but its hard._

_Without Yamato, I wonder if I'm actually anything at all._


	14. Preparation

_Being a teenager was possibly the worst thing ever. I'm not even being dramatic for once! You're changing and hormones are weird and you're expected to be a kid and an adult at the same time. You need to forge your own path but apparently you're too stupid to do anything for yourself. You need to figure out the 'realness' in things. You need to figure out your feelings, the feelings of others, and whats best for the future. To be even more unfair, most of those things never work in harmony, so then you have to deal with dumb drama on top of it!_

_Today's drama speciality was the dreaded 'l' word: love. Or perhaps lack of. I'm not blind - nobody could be blind to Takeru. He's sweet and charming for the most part, a good athlete and doesn't mind my baggage. I like the attention, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. He likes me and enjoys doting on me and taking me side. That doesn't mean he necessarily like likes me though, does it? He could be treating me as a friend or a brother, right?_

_Do people seriously just go up to each other and blurt their feelings? Say they like them and ask them out? I'm not brave enough for that. To be honest, I'm not sure I'm brave enough for love at all. I think, for anyone to love another person, they may not need to love themselves, but at the very least, they need to understand themselves. And I'm nowhere near that just yet._

_So for now, I'll leave things as they are. I feel its horrible and greedy, perhaps a bit rude and selfish too, but thats the way I am. Until I can figure myself out, and I'm_ happy  _with the person I find, I'm putting my self under a no love rule! But while that rule may be in place, its not like I'm going to shout from the treetops that I'm not ready for love yet. So phase two: finding the right way of saying "I'm flattered, but not just yet" without sounding like a self absorbed bitch and making sure my words are understood properly. Phase three? Actually saying those words._

Hikari looked to her self therapy journal and groaned. "I so don't wanna do this!"

. .

"I wanna be more honest with her."  
"I don't care."  
"Why aren't you fighting me over this?"  
"I'm done. Hikari's yours, dude."

Takeru did a double take. For one thing, Daisuke never spoke to him so casually, especially about Hikari. And what was that about him giving up on her? Who the hell was this kid? Daisuke looked at him and snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Not everything is about you, or her. Its not even about me, either. But I've been thinking lately that theres a whole world out there. A whole world I've never seen, never learnt about. I could be doing heaps of stuff, even just in this city, but instead, I've been wasting my time fawning over a girl who I have severe interesting and friend clashes with, and fighting with you over said girl because I feel you're more suited for her." Takeru smirked at that confirmation.

Daisuke kept speaking, accompanying his rant with exaggerated movements. "I used to feel threatened by that. But to be honest, I don't care anymore. Hikari will still always be the first girl I loved, but why should I want to fight for the first girl? There are literally  _millions_  of other girls out there. Some will hate me and some might just be friends, but why should I just pick the first girl I meet and go 'yeah, you'll do, you're the one'?"

"So you wanna sample the wares, huh?"

"It's not like that at all!" Takeru blinked, shocked at the tone. He'd only ever heard Daisuke be this passionate about soccer. "It's like going to a restaurant you've never been to. You tell the waiter to give you the most popular item because thats what everyone tells you about. Y'know, Hikari being the whole girl next door type and all." Takeru wasn't sure Hikari would enjoy being compared to food, or if he even knew where this analogy was going, but he let the teen keep going.

"But you never bother to look at other things. You're so focused on this one plate, and I'm not just talking about Hikari anymore, its this house. I'm so focussed  _here_ that I'm not thinking of anything else. I live on a planet that has heaps of stuff on it. Theres heaps of food, and places and people and I have a huge long future to fill it with. I'm not going to keep wasting my time on Hikari, who doesn't like me like that, when I could be looking for someone who actually kinda loves me."

Takeru was silent for a moment, still processing what had been said. Eventually, he came out with "I think you're kinda crazy, y'know?"

With a snort, Daisuke left the room. "Aren't we all?"

He left Takeru to himself and how he could woo Hikari and be more honest with her. In the end, he couldn't quiet explain the point he had been trying to convey, but what did that matter? He told Takeru he wasn't interested in Hikari and thats all he needed to know. Daisuke smiled goofily to himself. The blonde certainly didn't need to know he had already found someone who  _might_  be that love of a lifetime.

. .

 _It's raining again_. He hated days like this. He'd cooked plenty of meals in advance, done all the house work, made sure the kids were up to date on their school work and had even napped. He was bored. He'd managed to convince the brat pack he had been given leave for a few days, but he knew his bullshit wasn't getting by all of them.

He could tell them he'd lost his job. It's not like it'd be a shock, not in this economic climate. They were good kids, his lot, they'd probably help out more and get Miyako to convince the school to allow them to have part time jobs too. But what would that accomplish? They'd be a household of tired, stressed people, slowly losing their drive, becoming slaves to the system.

 _They're kids. They need to stay that way a bit longer._ But how long would that be? How long would he be around for? Yamato wasn't the type to be morbid, but if shit was going to go downhill, he'd be prepared. The blonde had enough money stashed away for a funeral (he'd told Ken it was emergency money, but now the boy knew the truth, he had probably already figured it out) in addition to having paid some bills in advance.

They'd be financially fine, for a while. But what then? Education was a necessity, but they weren't going to be able to afford even public school fees by working part time. Not all of them were old enough to drop out either.  _They'll have to go back home, to their families_. He'd already prepared for that. The emergency money was hidden in a little red box under his bed. The bundle was placed between a folded sheet of paper, with details of those who could help. Taichi's details were the most recent addition but Yamato was still tracking down Daisuke's sister, Jun. Other than her, everyone had a family contact (except Iori, but Yamato knew the boy wouldn't mind returning to Misaki's side as the two were still in frequent contact).

But until the day came when he  _couldn't_ work any longer, he would keep going. As little more than a child himself, he may not have understood what taking in so many kids meant, but he wouldn't let them down. Whatever it took, he'd get another job and look after them. Even when he left, he'd look after them.  _The most important thing in the world is family - lose that, and you're gone._

. .

Miyako wondered what was specifically wrong with Yamato. Not only illness wise, but why he'd been so bummed. Ken had no idea either and if he didn't know, nobody else would know. Iori speculated it was just his illness, but Miyako couldn't help but disagree.  _It's really not my place to pry though, is it? But I can't help but be curious. And slightly annoyed. I wish he'd at least tell me. I do help chip in for things after all. I know he hasn't asked me to work more hours, and I probably don't need to as Yamato's super prepared for everything, but I can't stop this bad feeling I've got._

The girls in her class found her at work one day. When they failed to get her in trouble, they decided to make her life hell. Punching them in the face had gotten her detention, but she'd also got that rush of satisfaction. Yamato hadn't been pleased, but Ken at least had understood her. Out of everyone in the house, she doted on Iori. He was her baby brother, in a way. Despite that, Ken understood her the most. They really had nothing in common, except maybe their IQs, but even then he outranked her.

 _I wonder what he isn't telling me?_ She looked to the boy at the other side of the table, head down, focussed on his school work like any a grade student. On the outside, thats what he looked like, but Miyako could see the subtle signs of stress.  _The bags around his eyes are darker. They've grown too. He's holding his pencil so tight it looks like it'll break. He's has a lot on his mind. When he's calm, he reads normally, but now, he's rushing, desperately trying to finish quickly, skimming over everything and then getting mad when he forgets or isn't understand, mad he's wasting time when he should be doing something else._

Shaking her head, she continued with her own work. Ideally, he would tell her if something was seriously bothering him. In reality, Miyako doubted that would happen (and tried to not to think of a pale arm covered in jagged scars). As silly as it sounded, Miyako felt as though there was a war coming. War pulled at you emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. It pushed you to your limits and you had to wonder,  _are my friends really friends?_   _Should I bother with this anymore?_

Maybe she was being paranoid and nothing was going to happen. Yamato was sick, big deal, they'd get over it (hopefully). That night, she desperately tried to push the thought out of her head, trying to get comfortable under the covers and get some sleep. But it didn't work. The night was spent wondering and pondering.  _What is really wrong with Yamato? Did he lose his job? How are we financially? How's Ken doing? I wonder how Taichi and his group are going. Would Mimi mind if I messaged her?_

So from midnight until four, her mind whirred. She slept fitfully, waking often. School was a bitch the next day, as was detention, then work, then homework and assignments. Yet she trooped onward, ignoring it all, focussed on her own ideas. After all, even if there was no war coming, it never hurt to be prepared now did it?


	15. The Future

The phone rung. It rung again. And again. Daisuke was beginning to think he wasn't going to get an answer when a slurred voice replied. "Taichi! It's Daisuke! Do you have a minute?"  
"Daisuke? Sure. Whats up?"

Keeping his voice low, he started explaining things. "So, I'm not entirely sure whats happening, but Yamato's been kind bummed out lately. I was just thinking it'd be nice if he had someone his own age to talk to, y'know?"  
He didn't think smiles had tones, but he was guessing the older brunette was grinning ear to ear. "Don't even worry about it. I'll talk his ear off!"

"You need to  _listen_  your ear off!"  
"Well, I suppose I can do that. Maybe I'll just have to buy us lunch, so he can talk while I stuff my face!" Under the joke, Daisuke could hear the man's need to help them and couldn't help but smile back.

"I think he'd really like that, Taichi." He didn't stay on the line too long, but for the moments he got to speak with the older man, he couldn't stop grinning.  _Hopefully, Yamato won't be able to either._

_. ._

Iori sighed, slightly irritated. Yamato, having lost a job, had far more time to spare. So he spent it fussing over his kids. To Iori, the reason why was obvious. He wasn't sure of the nature of Yamato's illness, but judging by the phone bills (with more calls than usual to doctors, the centre and even a funeral parlour) and the fact he kept giving them life tips and was forcing them to grow up a bit faster than he preferred, Iori was pretty positive it wasn't a "give it a month and you'll be fine" type of illness.

Nobody else noticed though. As orphans, as kids who had been abandoned, they'd never really had a lot of love. Even with Yamato, it was more survival with attention and adoration as a treat when the man wasn't working. But now, he was indulging them, going to the park, playing games with them, helping them more than normal. He couldn't remember a time where their household had been this loud, for the right reasons at least. There were no fights or snarking and everyone just seemed to be truly happy. All smiles and laughter and happy faces.

 _It's nice that he's here, but shouldn't he be living his own life? Shouldn't he be enjoying the last of his days properly, rather than worrying about us so much? We already have other support contacts._ Iori watched as Ken helped out more and Miyako followed suit, trying to figure out what was going on. He watched her frown and watched Ken's sad smiled. But most of all, he watched Yamato act like nothing was wrong, despite the growing bags under his eyes and too loud laughter and he wondered if all people tried to be brave while facing death, or if it was just typical Yamato, trying to help others before he helped himself.

. .

They met at the same cafe. It was small and quiet and not too expensive. They made nice smoothies and it was never too hot or cold. Taichi often became engrossed in the old tv in the corner, trying to hear the words around the static and watch the picture through the random fuzz and antenna drop outs.

"Hikari, I don't wanna sound pushy, but have you ever thought about coming home?"

She placed her drink down, quietly and didn't look at her brother. She'd only recently started calling him that. To everyone. Properly. Yes, Taichi was her brother, biologically, but that didn't mean they were siblings, in the heart. But she'd felt they were, lately, so she made sure everyone knew it.

But she still couldn't look at him when she answered. "Sort of. Did you tell mum and dad?"  
"No. They don't know anything. I didn't want to get their hopes up, just to crush them again."  
"Thanks."  
"It'd be nice if you did come home, you know? You don't have to move in. Don't even have to stay for more than hour. It'd just nice to have the five of us in the one room again, I guess."  
"Five of us?"  
"Yeah, Miko. The cat? He's still alive, though he's pretty fat and old now."  
"Going back would be weird. How am I supposed to act?"

"Like yourself!" She glared at him for giving such a stupidly simple answer, but he wasn't paying her attention, signalling the waitress over and chatting away. "Nobody is expecting you to be perfect, to be fixed, whatever that means. I'm sure they just want to know what your hobbies are, what your grades are like and that you're alive and healthy."

He order another drink and some more fries ' _to share, because I'm not that much of a pig!'_  and so she was stuck for a while longer. He changed the subject, talking about soccer, university and the last few parties he'd been too. He spoke about Odaiba and the beach and she listened quietly, trying to force herself to remember things, but only grabbing half formed memories of jumbled words and blurred out faces.

He paid for her, as he always did and she didn't protest as much. Again, as always, he drove her home in his beaten up red car, music on some old retro station,  _'because I only like the good stuff'_. But when he pulled over, instead of her jumping out, thanking him, and him walking her to the door (so he could see Yamato or Daisuke, Hikari could never tell), Hikari sat still.

"I want to go home. But I think if I did, I may want to leave here. I don't want to have to change my life. I don't want my world flipped upside down. I want the best of both worlds. And I'm not sure if thats possible."

Getting out of the car, Taichi stretched before coming to let her out. "You could be right. You might not be able to have it both ways. Our parents might be furious and crazy and make your life hell, make you uncomfortable. I might be wrong. But you'll never know unless you try, right?"

. .

"What are you thinking?"

It wasn't often that he was honest, because truly, he didn't have the time or emotional capacity to do so, but here he was, spilling his guts. "I'm thinking about family. I'm wondering what life would have been like if our parents didn't split, if they actually cared for each other. I wonder what life would have been like if they had been able to act like adults after they split, not whispering and grumbling, refusing to let bygones by bygones. I wonder if you would have been so dependent on me, and me such a mess, if we'd had a real family."

"We have a real family!"  
"Do we?" Yamato sighed. "I can't even remember. You had it better, mum was actually at home half the time. But just because you live in the same house as someone doesn't make them family, does it?"  
"You were just a kid back then! I swear you're not remembering things right."  
"Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not. But I can't change what I remember. Its how I viewed things, how I based my life."  
"So you wouldn't be open to going home and starting over?" Yamato ignored the pain tone in Takeru's voice.  
"Of course I'm open to it. But I don't care to do so. I have no incentive. I have no desire to get hurt again."  
"And wheres the proof you will?"  
"Wheres the proof I won't?" The simple retort left his room silent once more.

"Yamato… Do you regret going to the center? Do you regret picking all of us up?"  
"That isn't a yes or no question." Thats how this whole thing had started, right? Takeru bugging him with dumb one answer questions. And now it looked like they were about to fight.  _Typical.  
_ "I want an answer anyway." __  


He sighed again. "If I hadn't of gone to the centre, I'd still be alone. I'd probably have worked out some of my own issues, money wouldn't be as tight and I wouldn't have headaches every other day." As if to prove his point, someone started shouting from the lounge. _Probably fighting for the remote._  "But if I hadn't, I wouldn't have met you again either." He finished with a soft smile, but it didn't seem to mean jack to Takeru.

"You say I mean a lot to you, but we fight about so many things. Some of your issues return to our family, and you want to resolve those problems but refuse to do so. I want to go home and you want to have a clear head. Or do you just like throwing around pretty words?"

"I told you, theres no point in having useless bonds."

With a huff and a few choice swears, Takeru stomped out of his room.  _It was supposed to be honesty hour, but I never tell the full truth. Its like a game, really. Never let your opponent know your full hand. In this case, its keep quiet about how long you have left to live, while trying to sort out the lives of those you look after. Its a fine line sometimes._

. .

"You know, Daisuke really idolises you?"  
"I was the first person he met after leaving home. Of course we have a bond."  
"Don't be dumb. Like, he really idolises you. You're his hero!"  
"Don't exaggerate."

"I'm not! He told me himself!" Yamato rolled his eyes, hands shoved in his pockets as they walked down the street. Taichi smiled slightly. "You know, I don't think its just him. They may not say it, or even know it, but all your kids idolise you. You're a really special guy, Yamato."

Yamato felt his cheeks heat up and turned away. "You're an idiot, you know?"

Taichi just grinned. "Maybe."  _But its true. I idolise you too, you know? You're strong and cool. You're handsome and emotionally, you've got it together. To take on your own problems, as well as the problems of a bunch of teenagers? There are no words to describe how awesome you are._

. .

The holidays zoomed by quickly. They were only a week long so there wasn't much time to relax to begin with, but it felt like a regular weekend. Yamato had been ill the entire time, but that didn't stop Taichi from looking after them. Ken winced at the thought of what it cost to pay for all of their movie tickets (though since they went on women's day, the girls got in half price so that was something) as well as food. They went to the beach too, spending the day in the scorching sun and the night under the stars (Hikari had complained about bugs and Mimi had refused to camp, but had eventually being convinced otherwise). Another day Jyou had driven them to a national forest. He couldn't keep up with the hiking, wheezing behind at the back of the group, but Iori stayed with him and Koushirou chatted away about random facts at the front, much like a tour guide.

Miyako had to work some days, and of course they still had school work to keep up with. Despite the brief respite, it was nice. It was warm, and that wasn't just the weather. But Mimi had noticed, the entire time they were enjoying themselves, they were all laughing and happy. Except for Taichi. She knew him incredibly well, and while he was enjoying himself, that smile wasn't 100% true. She was tempted to get him smashed and force the truth out of him, but she was more than confident that the absence of a certain blonde was the answer. The fact that whenever he dropped the teens off he stayed for an hour, talking to Yamato despite the germs and dull responses only proved her point. Smiling, she couldn't have been happier for the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rush of chapters. Laziness on my part. I'm on hiatus for August, but I'll start updating properly once September comes. Stay well!


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